Thursday, October 19, 2006

In Mordor where Santorum lies

Saw this over at JP's other place:

LEVITTOWN - Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the "Eye of Mordor" has instead been drawn to Iraq.

Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien's 1950s fantasy classic, "Lord of the Rings," to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

"It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.," he continued. "You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."
I think that Ricky has a point here as there are some stark similarities* between the Lord of the Rings triology and the GWoT/Iraq War:
  • The War is against a faceless, ever present evil;
  • The King resorts to a backdoor draft by remobilizing the Dead;
  • There are a cast of characters that are seemingly useless (you're doing a heck of job Tom Bombadil!);
  • They are being both led by a shifty, untrustworthy being that used to be human-like;
  • Frodo and Sam are sent into Mordor without a clear plan, limited body armor, and no real exit strategy.
Of course there are some key differences as well. First, in the final section of the third book [the part that Peter Jackson fortunately left out of his bladder busting epic] the War of the Ring actually does come home for the Hobbits, despite all attempts by Gandalf to fight them in Mordor so they don't have to fight them in the Shire. Ricky probably shouldn't have skpped this part, by the way.

Second, the Chieftain of the Dúnedain has actual prior military experience, almost 70 years worth. Today, he'd be Bob Dole.

And finally: Sam and Frodo's "friendship" wouldn't be permitted in today's US Army.

Now, if Santorum was a real Tolkien nerd, he would have realized that there are many more stories within the Middle Earth story cycle that are more apropos to the current situation than just the War of the Ring.

For example, Eärnur the last King of Gondor, in his pride, accepted the challenge of the Witch-King, entered Minas Morgul, and was lost.

OK, maybe a better example would be Ar-Pharazôn the twenty-fifth and last King of Númenor. He usurped the throne, assailed Mordor and brought Sauron back to Númenor as a hostage, but Sauron seduced him promising power and eternal life, and persuaded him to sail on and attack Valinor itself. As punishment for this act, the island of Númenor sank beneath the waves of the Great Sea. Only a few of the Faithful of Númenor, including Elendil and Isildur, survived.

But probably the best example from Middle Earth comes from the first age, when Morgoth assailed and destroyed the two trees of Valinor, Telperion and Laurelin, stole the Silmarils, and escaped to Middle Earth. Fëanor swore an oath to recover the Silmarils, and many of the Noldor followed him into exile in pursuit of the jewels. Through a course of bloodshed and betrayal of the Teleri at Alqualondë, Fëanor and his seven sons returned to Middle-earth, and began a war against the Dark Lord which lasted throughout the first age. The lifes of many Deep Elves were lost but, in the end, it was the efforts of a Man that brought the host of the Valar to Middle Earth to utterly defeat the Dark Lord. In the process, however, all of Beleriand was destroyed.

Of course, Ricky probably skipped all that because of all that Man on Elf sex.

Seriously.

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P.S. I wrote post prior to seeing this. Great minds and all that.

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