PA State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe Believes Dwarves Are Stealing His Socks

In an official interview to ADB+, PA State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe has admitted to our editorial board that he believes that dwarves are stealing his socks.

"I´m not saying that all dwarves are stealing my socks -- the longbeards and firebeards are particular exceptions -- but my socks are going missing, and the only explanation is that dwarves are doing it."

Rep. Metcalfe met with our editorial board (which he collectively refered to as "Alan" throughout the meeting) yesterday, and discussed topics ranging from his recent disagreement with Iraq war veterans to his belief that the current President is not a citizen of the United States. He spent most of his efforts, however, in discussing dwarves that are stealing his socks.

"They´re probably using them to make formulas to brainwash us. That´s why I always keep my feet in water -- they´re like ants, they can´t get through the water. And they need you´re socks to brainwash you... no one else´s socks will work. I caught one of them once. He looks like my Bassett Hound Terry, but I could tell the difference. They´re sneaky bastards."

The interview ended abruptly when Rep. Metcalfe yelled "Bats!" and lept out the window.

More tomorrow in ADB+.