A Haunted Specter

I have to say, I feel bad for Arlen Specter: hated by the left wing of his current party, hated by his former party, and hated by folks who, by some miracle, manage not to soil themselves throughout the day.

At a crowded community college, Mr. Specter heard from speaker after speaker who accused him of trampling on their constitutional rights, adding to the federal deficit or allowing government bureaucrats to take over health care.

"You'll be gone, by God the bureaucrats will still be here," said one man.

"My children and grandchildren are going to pay for this," said another.

"One day God will stand before you and judge you!" shouted a third man before security guards approached and he left the room.

Granted, Arlen's done some damned silly things in his time, but I get the sense that if he still had a little "R" after his name he would be "a staunch ally in the fight of global Kenyan-fascist-socialism" or some other such nonsense.

I wonder what it's like for his staff to get calls from rank and file Democrats telling him to "hang tough" and that "we're pulling for you." Must be weird.

Specter Defecates on Republican Party

(Reuters) Washington D.C. - Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter announced today that he was defecating on the Republican Party and would now caucus with the Democrats.

Specter told reporters that this was a "hard struggle for him and something that he strained over for a long time," but now he "feels a great sense of relief as if a great load has been lifted from him."

He said informed Republican and Democratic Senate leaders several hours after dinnertime last night.

Senator Specter has been a key advocate of the corn industry, as well as the bean, dairy, and logging lobbies. A keen supporter of science, the Senator has sponsored a NASA mission to Uranus.

It was clear that by this afternoon, however, Specter's actions had left a great stench in the nostrils of his former colleagues.

"This just proves that Arlen has just been floating around the party, without any real moral fiber," said Senator Jon Kyle, the Republican Party's #2 man in the Senate. "Frankly, I think that there are a whole lot of Pennsylvanians that hope his career goes down the toilet.

This is not the first instance of party defecation in recent memory. Former Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords also crapped out on the GOP in 2002. Similarly, Senator Joe Liebermann became an Independent following a primary loss; for his actions, Liebermann was repeatedly called a "loose tool" of the GOP by his Democratic opponents.

Some have speculated that Senators Snowe and Collins, both of Maine, may similarly release themselves from their party, but publicly they have stated their intentions to cling on as long as they serve in the Senate.

Said Senator Specter, "I wish my former colleagues well, but I dumped them for good reason."

A Specter Aside

Before I dig into Arlen, I just want to point out that throughout the afternoon the Trib lead "headline" on its website was not about the momentous switch, but rather a sour grapes editorial exhorting a Jack Wagner to run against him in the primary to punish his dirty traitorous ass.

I'm sure the Trib is high on Wagner's list of trusted advisers.

I'm also sure that Arlen has some advice for the Trib as well. (Here's a hint: the second word is "off".)

Friggin' Commie

Obviously, Arlen Specter hates our Freedom.