Happy New Year!
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Friday, January 01, 2010
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
Mayor's Office Reopens After "Santa Incident"
Activity resumed on the 5th floor of the City-County building today after a five day holiday standoff between the Mayor and members of his own staff over the existence of Santa Claus.
According to sources within the Mayor's Office who wish to remain anonymous,* the incident began during a Christmas Eve meeting in which the Mayor's Chief of Staff Yarone Zober casually asked if the Mayor had bought his newborn son anything for Christmas. The Mayor responded puzzled, saying that, like every year, that was Santa Claus's duty, and he would wait until his arrival.
After an awkward exchange, Mr. Zober finally revealed to the Mayor that Santa Claus is, in fact, a fictional creation and that the exchange of gifts was done by others under the guise of a fat man in a red suit that lives at the North Pole surrounded by elves.
The Mayor abruptly ended the meeting, stormed into the conference room in tears, and locked himself in. Staff members tried for several hours on Wednesday to coax him out, but to no avail.
Unbeknown to the rest of his staff at the time, the Mayor had visited over 14 mall Santa Clauses asking them for, among other items, "a chunk of the Obama economic stimulus package, a new Ford Excursion for concerts, and a Nintendo Wii." He also interrogated them as to the definition of "naughty" and "nice." Staff also discovered freshly made holiday cookies on the Mayor's desk and milk in his personal refrigerator.
The standoff continued throughout Christmas, despite impassioned pleas from the Mayor's family and staff.
A breakthrough occurred this morning, however, when a member of the City's Legal department forwarded on a copy of the famous 1897 New York Sun editorial "Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus" to the fifth floor. Mr. Zober was able to convince the Mayor that, while Santa did not exist, per se, the spirit of what he represents was real. The Mayor left the conference room at 3:21 PM, and went home to spend what was left of the holiday with his family.
When asked for comment on his way out of the building, the Mayor responded that, although St. Nick isn't real, "at least the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and my 2009 Budget are."
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* Thanks for the tip "Mike"!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Business Casual Pi Day
Yes, it's true. For you mathematicians out there, March 14th is Pi Day. So here you go:
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
7245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094
3305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912
9833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132
0005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235
4201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859
5024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303
5982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989
380952572010654858632788659...
Bah! To hell with it! 3! Pi is exactly 3!
But, if you care, here's Pi to a million digits.
And now I'm hungry for pie... square pie, because, you know... Pie are squared.
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