From the ADB Archives

Smithfield, England (London Gazette, 1381) - Leaders of the so-called "Occupy London" movement have announced a meeting tomorrow with the King to discuss and air greviances relating to feudal abuses amongst the top 1% of the gentry.

"We are disatisfied with the current state of serfdom," said spokesman Wat Tyler. "We want the nobility to be aware that we are willing to cause trouble for them. Since the end of the Black Death, we demand that wages and living standards become for equitable for the remaining 99% of the population."

The so-called "Occupy London" movement arose from the imposition of an unpopular tax at the beginning of the young King's reign. Many have blamed the collusion of vested interests amongst the landed gentry and the Church, exploiting the inexperience of the current administration.

Critics of the movement have called the participants "a rowdy mob of dirty serfs" who are "unclear on their demands." The King's Uncle and Duke of Lancaster John of Gaunt has publicly called for the protesters to "get a job -- one that we make you do because of your feudal loyalty to your masters". Popular bards, under the patronage of the Lord Chancellor, have written controversial ballads ridiculing the movement.

The cost of serf Labor has increased since the cessation of the plague, but feudal Lords have refused to increase wages amongst the peasantry. The previous administration had pegged wages to pre-plague levels, causing further consternation amongst the serfs; many have been unable to find employment at livable wages.

"We are committed to our cause," says Tyler, "and we intend to fight the Lords of this land until our demands are met."

The meeting at Smithfield with the King is scheduled for early tomorrow. The King's Knights have warned the protesters that they are willing and able to use violence, if necessary

ADB's Theatre Critic Corner

In 1980, Alain Boubil and Jean-Marc Natel released a concept album about the travails of prostitutes, workers, and students, which was universally panned by the French theater critics. Re-released, revamped, and retranslated into English sometime later, that same musical, Les Miserables, has gone on play for over 10,000 performances and win multiple Tony awards. A new, stripped down, off Broadway version has been playing for the last several weeks, bringing a new interpretation to the classical musical.

The story is familiar to any follower of musical theater: Jean Valjean, recently freed from prison for stealing a loaf of bread, tries to redeem himself, while being endlessly pursued by the ruthless Inspector Javert. On the way, Valjean saves a destitute woman's daughter and gets wrapped up in a Paris student Revolution. In this new version, however, most of this story has been cast off in favor of focusing solely on a modern retelling of the student rebellion part. It is a bold attempt at reframing the plot of the musical away from Jean Valjean and towards the everyday people building the barricades of Paris.

The Director, who's name escapes me, has managed to cobble together a lavish al fresco set along with a cast of hundreds. Where one would have expected to see an impressive rotating set, the director has, instead, chosen to immerse the viewer with in the action itself. This is not "theater in the round," rather, it is "theater around you."

Costumes are set in the modern period, with students, workers, and military all thoroughly represented. If anything, the attention to detail is a little too good: the actors themselves have a overpowering odor which is jarring, but fits within the context of the narrative.

The music too has been stripped down to it's barest roots; where one may have expect to hear such rousing songs as "One Day More," instead one hears incessant drumming, a clever play on the tension between the battle that is about to break out and the creative forces of the performers.

If there is a major flaw with the performance it is this: the director chose to drag out the activity before the storming of the barricade for far too long (several weeks too long, in this critic's opinion). The result is a bit of an anti-climax, although several people have assured me that the final scene will come as an utter surprise.

For all of its flaws, however, this version of the performance has already begun touring to excited audiences. The performance in Oakland CA was met with standing room only, shouting crowds so large that the police had to be called in to disburse the frenzied mob.

In all, it is an excellent performance, even if the director's message isn't very clear. I expect it to join the ranks of musicals like Rent, showing the gritty underbelly of New York from the safety of our theater seats.

(Terry Teachout is the Wall Street Journal's Theater Critic)

MASS CHAOS AT OCCUPY PITTSBURGH PROTEST did not happen.

Several hundred members of Occupy Pittsburgh, who may or may not have been communist fascist Muslims according to unnammed sources, and their supporters (who potentially could have been draft dodging unwashed america hating hippies) marched through the streets of Oakland tonight without BURNING DOWN PRIVATE BUSINESSES AND GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS.

There were no arrests and no reports of damage by protestors (as far as anyone is willing to admit, given the pressure that the OBAMA administration has sought to support these protests), who marched in the streets surrounding the University of Pittsburgh campus, according to Pittsburgh police Cmdr. George (who may or may not be covering for nefarious ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT OVERLORDS).

Elizabeth C. Pittinger, executive director of the Pittsburgh Citizen Police Review Board, monitored the protest and said police exhibited "extraordinary patience and restraint." And as far as we no there were no MASS RAPES OF INNOCENT COLLEGE STUDENTS.

Pittinger said marchers, who did not have a permit and did not CAUSE MASS CHAOS IN THE STREETS OF OAKLAND, spilled into the streets and obstructed traffic for a short time before heeding orders from police to keep to the sidewalks AND STOP HATING AMERICA.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review contributed to this report.

OWs! It hurts!

Since I was away, it seems like there have been several major Cities across this Great Land of Ours infected with these dirty Hippies calling themselves "Occupy Wall Street," who are obviously seditious traitors to this Country advocating the overthrow of our Capitalist Government and its replacement by, what I can only assume would be some sort of naked Kenyan-Muslim-Fascist Flag Burning Ceremony.  At least that's what I assume they're after; for all I know it could be worse.

I mean, do these protestors not realize that in 1989, Ronald Reagan himself Singled handedly defeated Communism, tearing down the Berlin Wall, and converted the entire Soviet Union to Christianity so that we could live in a world where men would not be judged by the content of their character, but by the cash in their wallets? These OWS folks are espousing a failed doctrine that states that the labor of the working class is exploited by Capitalists.  They seem to think that somehow the workers of the world must unite and cast off their right to work two jobs at 60 hours a week with no health care.  That's just insanity.

Are these people really under the delusion, that the standard of living for the 99% of Americans has stagnated, while the top 1% has grown?  Come on: we all have iPhones, Cable TV, and Refrigerators; that's more than most average citizens in most countries get.  I am informed that the people of Canada, a heathen country if there ever was one, are forced to eat a mixture of potatoes, gravy, and cheese and speak French.  

French!  What kind of Anti-American bullshit is that?

And of course, we have the Pope coming in now, pushing his Papist agenda on the world economy.  What kind of "Christian" really believe in the end of Laissez-Faire Capitalism or that Governments shouldn't be promoting the good of a few select individuals at the expense of the rest?  Show me where in the Bible Jesus says *anything* about "economic justice".  Oh, I found in: it's in the Book of "Not In There" chp. 4 v. 7-Nowhere.  

Everyone knows, and Rick Santorum and Bill Donahoe can back me up on this, is that the New Testament is all about stopping abortion, fighting terrorism, and keeping those homo-queers from having butt sex.   Right after He turned those loaves into fishes, Jesus said on the mount, "God helps those who help themselves".  He didn't say anything about "The Poor" or "The Hungry" or "The Persecuted"... I mean, what do you expect Him to give them?  The Kingdom of Heaven?  That would be Socialism of the worst kind.  

But of course, this pronouncement from a minor Curia of the Vatican is just the kind of communist tripe one would expect from a former member of the Hitler youth. 

The Vatican is obviously oblivious to the fact that a full 47% of people in this country don't pay taxes, because they have the audacity to not earn enough money. Meanwhile, there they are sucking up services like food stamps or public housing or prison, while the rest of actually work for a living, refusing government services like interstate highways, police protection, or food safety inspections.

So, I say: OWS go home!  Your kind isn't welcome while a new episode of Jersey Shore is on.