And Now...

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       {_  H A P P Y  _}
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     {_ B I R T H D A Y _}
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Have some seven year old, poorly aligned ASCII cake...

Pointless Milestones...

So, when do I get my gold watch already?

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This post brought to you by a stubborn, nay, pigheaded unwillingness to let this damned blog die after 5 years, despite its detrimental effects to my health, relationships, and personal hygiene. Thanks for putting up with me for so long.

Pointless Milestones...

We're this many today:



Have a cupcake.

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This post brought to you by a stubborn, nay, pigheaded unwillingness to stop writing this crap.

More Pointless Milestones

At 8:23 AM today, somebody from Philadelphia, PA became the 100,000th visitor to this site.

Why do you all insist on making me waste your time? Get back to work.

Pointless Milestones

I heard somewhere once that the average blog lasts for 33.8 months, or roughly 2 1/2 years. American Humans, by comparison, live an average of 79.1 years (female) to 72.2 years (male).

If this blog were a person, it would be between 94.92 and 86.64 years old today.

Now get off my damned lawn.*

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This post brought to you by a generous donation from the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation and by Viewers Like You.

*Especially you, Ravenstahl.**
** You too Zober!

Pointless Milestones

The worst part of the job is waking up in the morning, opening up the paper, and finding out that you are a complete and total asshole. The obvious solution to this problem is to cancel your subscription.

Us bureaucrats are angry because we get no respect, we're treated like shit, and we're identified with everything that's wrong with government. We're the scapegoat, because we're easy. So we're angry. And we drink. A lot.

So I hope to accomplish nothing by this blog except...

Wait...

Wait a second. This all sounds familiar. A little too much like deja vu. I think I've done this rant before. In fact, I'm sure of it.

Dammit all.

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This rant brought to you by: Readers Like You. Thanks.

Tag(s): Blogiversary

Pointless Milestones

Woke up this morning and saw this on my counter:



At this rate, by June 20, 2009 I will have had over 1,280,000 visitors. I hope that I have enough chairs for everyone.

A big thanks to Dave and Maria over at 2 Political Junkies for sending visitor two-oh-oh-oh-oh! my way.

Pointless Milestones

Those of you who pay attention to these things may have realized that this is the one year anniversary of The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat.  If you are not one of those people, well, shame on you, but thanks for reading anyway. 

 

Although, perhaps you are one of those people that look at hit counters and realized that we are rapidly approaching 10,000 visitors... like really rapidly... like by the time you finish reading this post, I hope.  So call your friends/neighbors/fellow bloggers/Jerry Lewis, and help push us to 10K! 

 

I'd like to thank all the people that made this possible and all the people (both real and virtual) that encouraged this little excursion into the seedy underworld that is The Bureaucracy. Without all of your emails, postings, rants, raves, and so forth, I wouldn't have had the will to carry on... and would have been in some virtual gutter somewhere soaked in virtual gin and tonic. 

 

Here's what I've learned so far from this blog: 

(1) The actual workings of government are enigmas to most people.  

(2) People, nevertheless, have very strong feelings about the way things ought to be, and will freely and loudly offer them to you. 

(3) Blogging while drunk, while not recommended, is highly entertaining to read.

(4) "Commiseration" has two m's.

(5) The distance between the people in charge of this City and the people reading this blog is smaller than you think. 

(6) Blogger doesn't like Apple's Safari browser.  

(7) There is no "I" in "Team," but there is an "Eat Me."

(8) Never go back to read old posts; yes, they are as bad as you remember.

(9) No pooftas?

(10) Writing using dependent, independent, and subjunctive clauses is a lost art form, as are sentences using semi-colons.

(11) Lists are good ways of extending short posts into lengthy ones.

 

So that's it from here!  I'm off to celebrate in my own particular way, which, as you may have guessed, involves liquor and paperwork. 

 

Thanks again everybody. 

 -"O"

Pointless Milestones

Somebody from Lowell, MA became our 5,000th visitor to this site as of 4:57 PM today.

Shame on you for encouraging me.

Huzzah for Pointless Milestones!

Hey folks! Wake the kids and rattle the neighbors! I just hit my 100th posting since my First, Angry, Drunk, Bureaucratic Post! And just to make it extra special, I hit 1,000 visits since I began counting.

This means that we have met our fund match goal and that Anonymous from Squirrel Hill will be donating another 1,000 visits to our drive.

Thanks to Mr/Mrs./Ms. X of the domain duq.edu for putting us over the top. He/she/it will get a free tote bag and a CD recording of my best postings.

To everyone else, I'm sorry I've wasted your time.