As Certain as Death and Tax Portfolio Sales

From the P-G:

The county is in line to collect $6 million by the end of this year in return for a portfolio of tax liens worth $7.2 million. The liens are claims against almost 5,000 properties for unpaid real estate taxes for the years 2008 through 2011...

The $7.2 million in tax liens cover 4,977 properties throughout the county.

Those parcels are among more than 18,000 properties across the county on which $14.6 million is owed in back taxes and penalties for the three years. The county had sought bids for the sale of all those liens, but the offer to buy them came in at just $7.5 million. That deal would have gained the county about 52 cents for each dollar owed.

The county has used tax-lien sales to raise revenue in the past. A 2007 tax-receivable sale yielded $13.4 million from the sale of liens valued at $18 million. That represented an upfront payment of 75 cents for each dollar owed the county.

Ms Griser estimated that, based on past experience, it will take the buyer of the liens about four years to get back the $6 million initial investment.

If I'm reading this right and doing the math correctly, we're looking at round about $1.5 billion worth of property that's tax delinquent (assuming that any multiple liens sort of even out). Even if it was a third of the value, that's still a lot of property to be tied up with a third party collections gency.

So tax portfolio sales seems to be one of those great get rich quick schemes municipal entities try to use to balance their books riiiiight before a crisis. Of course if we learned anything from the City's Capital Assests debacle*, we remember that for a short term influx of cash, the City's hands were tied when it tried to assemble large swaths of property for redevelopment. Capital Assets literally stuffed all of these bad liens into a black hole (for you clever dog Latin fans) and held up development progress for years. As a colleague of mine once said, "It was the dumbest thing the City could have done."

Flash forward to today: even though the County taxes are a fairly minor sum when compared to other taxing bodies, in an economic downturn it seems odd that the portfolio purchaser would seem to value it so highly. Without knowing what types of property specifically were in that pool of liens, they paid $.86 on the dollar... which I would assume means that they expect to collect at least 87% of the liens. I don't know if I can say for sure if this is unreasonable or not given the national economic trends, but I get the feeling that they may be waiting a loooong time for their purchase to pay off. In the meanwhile, depending on how well their collections go, this new delinquent tax lien holder could wait it out, slowing community redevelopment until others with deep pockets come and pay them their full asking price.

If not, they can always package it as a security and create a "safe" vehicle for investors. You know... again.

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*We haven't.**
**That post is almost five years to the day, by the way.

And... Drink Tax (Redux)

This spoiled my breakfast this morning:

Since their enactment in 2008, Allegheny County's taxes on alcoholic drinks and car rentals have done virtually nothing to ease the Port Authority's chronic financial problems.

Here's why: The new taxes were intended to help the county's budget, not the Port Authority's.

The taxes are generating less than $2 million per year in extra revenue for the authority while producing $30 million to $40 million windfalls that county government has used to avoid raising property taxes.

What? What? WHAT?

"That is very clearly a point of confusion," [Port Authority spokesman Jim Ritchie] said. "People to this day just don't understand that this was not new money."

Now, that's an understatement. Did I just miss this? Was I not paying attention? Were there squirrels outside my window going at it like... squirrels, I guess, in heat? Was I so hopped up on NyQuil and ground up Flintstone Vitamins that I was delusional?

Please, someone tell me that this was hidden somewhere in the fine print near the bottom, like where the credit card rate jumps from 3% to 4 Gillion % if you don't buy milk on Wednesdays!

I mean, *I* used the might and majesty of this blog to argue that the drink tax was a sensible way of funding mass transit. I severed friendships over this. I burned down an apartment building in a Sambuca fueled haze for the Drink tax. Now I find out that it was just another way to suck money out of Joe Six Pack so that Dan Onorato and the folks on County Council wouldn't have to raise property taxes?

I ruined my liver for the busses, Dan, not so that some estate in Fox Chapel could save a mill or two off their taxes.

I feel dirty now.

Dirty and sober.

Please do not Read the Last Post

OK, a bit of a confession/apology to make here:

I was rushed on Friday and didn't have a chance to read the post in full. Now, apparently this post contained some very hateful, mean, and disturbing things (which I will not go into here). Most of the time I do, in fact, write my own material, but I will admit, that particular post was ghost written on my behalf by Allegheny County Councilman Charles McCullough, who offered it to me at the last minute as a favor. Chuck claimed that is was a minor amendment to a previously approved posting, but I just got duped into posting the most vile and awful bit of filth, it seems.

Like I said, I didn't have a chance to read it before it got posted, but it contained some very, very awful, disgusting, lewd, and amoral things. So anyone who did read it, I recommend that you clear it from your cache and forget about it. I've already deleted it so you won't find it here.

I'm truly sorry for this incident, especially the part about the puppies and the rotissomat. That was horrible.

Thank you, and again I apologize. (And shame on you Mr. McCullough for what you said about Rich Fitzgerald's hair and his sexual deviances!)

"Open Season" Declared on Feral Municipalities

Allegheny County Chief Executive Dan Onorato has begun rounding up "feral municipalities" and has engaged state and federal help on thinning the regions burgeoning herd of public bodies. The move has sparked outrage among some who see the flocks of municipalities as part of the regional culture.

Workers in the County clean up nearly 400 tons of municipal droppings every day, and neighbors complain that the most municipalities are dirty, smelly, and a nuisance to the area.

"Just last week we had two of them right on my front yard," said Irma Fuocco, a resident of Ben Avon. "Ben Avon Heights was right up there with Emsworth, going through my garbage. I chased them away, but they were back within an hour."

Officials have counted over 130 municipalities, although the real count may be closer to 1000.

Mr. Onorato has said that the cull will be calm and humane. "Officials from the US Department of the Interior will put them carefully into cages, load them onto a truck and take them away to be euthanized humanely in Harrisburg." Reports indicate that the County has already trapped Wilmerding, Pennsbury Village, and Glen Osborne.

Researcher Dan Bowden from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Local Municipalities (SPCLM) say that even though the methods seem extreme, the cull is necessary for the health of the species.

"Well, you see, if you have too much of any species... deer, beaver, armadillo, what have you... you're going to have a competition for resources. So the more that they go unchecked without a natural predator, the more their numbers are going to increase. Eventually, the species won't be able to sustain itself and you're going to have, effectively, a mass starvation. That's something we don't want to have happen."

Still, members of the Save the Townships, Boroughs, Cities, Authorities, School Boards, and other Public Bodies Network (STBCASBOPBN) are protesting what they consider to be a government sanctioned kill.

"We were assured that non-lethal methods would be used: mergers, sterilizations, introduction of more old people," said STBASBOPBN President Rebecca Baechle, "and this method goes far beyond what anyone would consider 'humane.'"

Despite the protests, however, Mr. Onorato said that the cull will go on.

"Frankly, if we don't do something about this problem, we're going to be overwhelmed with dysfunctional, unnecessary municipalities that serve only a handful of people, while the resources of the region get diverted away from where they are really needed because of petty power politics. Let's hope that day never comes."

You Forgot Didn't You?

I Feel So Consolidated

The desktop publishing in Western Pennsylvania got a big boost today with the unveiling of the Report of the Citizens Advisory Committee on the Efficiency and Effectiveness of City-County Government, which outline the need and made the case for greater inter-municipal cooperation.

That, or it was just a big excuse to trot out Pittsburgh historian Stefan Lorant.

Alternatively, it was a chance to add to my giant pile of "Pittsburgh Reports" that I'm currently using as a foot rest.

Probably the most surprising this about this report was that it was available to the general public about 20 seconds before it was finally unveiled. If you happened to be, say, the Mayor of Pittsburgh, however, the report was available to you long enough ahead of time, to give you ample opportunities to change your position on City-County merger.

*ahem*

The recommendations of the report were fairly complex, so let me break them down for you in words the average City Councilperson can understand:
(1) The City and County should work together;
(2) The City and County should continue to work together;
(3) The City and County should memorialize working together.

The Mayor has formally come out said that he's willing to support these recommendations, even if it results in the loss of his job. I say that there's really no need to stand on ceremony, and he should probably just resign now.

If you read the report closely, however, you'll see that the report is, for the most part, a pastiche of previous promulgated prose, purloined from prior publishers.

Or, in short: the same old shit on consolidation... only this time in a glossy Adobe Pagemaker format... with as many pictures as text.

But, hey! They *mean* it this time.

Today in Technology

It is with much sadness that today we announce the death of Netscape Navigator.

DID YOU READ THAT ALLEGHENY COUNTY RECORDER OF DEEDS OFFICE REAL ESTATE DEPARTMENT? THERE WILL NOT BE ANY NETSCAPE V. 6 OR ABOVE. START SUPPORTING ANOTHER DAMNED BROWSER FOR YOUR "FREE DEED SEARCH".


That is all.

Things I Find Interesting - Part III

So, there's this big article in the electronic version of the PG, hidden right after the jump outlining an impending crisis in the finances of Allegheny County.

As the state prospers under Mr. Rendell's surplus projections and the city recovers from financial despair, the economic forecast and health of the county's finances is an increasingly debatable issue among politicians and local government experts.

Some say the county with its ongoing deficits is steadily sliding into a major financial crisis, much like Pittsburgh did a few years ago, because its costs of operation are either going up or remain unchanged, and yet it continues with little or no new revenue...

Mr. Onorato cut 200 jobs to balance the 2008 budget, the second time in five years that he has eliminated jobs to cut costs...

In years past, county leaders have relied on annual or periodic updates in property assessments to provide additional revenue without increasing tax millage. Mr. Onorato calls that a "back-door tax increase" and refuses to follow that path...

Those choices have limited the amount of additional revenue the county has available year after year.

In challenging his critics to embrace a new era when the county does not rely solely on property tax increases for new revenue, Mr. Onorato continues to weather a political firestorm over his push for the two new taxes and the $19.9 million payment the county received from state gambling revenues. The gambling money was supposed to be for airport debts and Mr. Onorato used it for the first payment on $42 million the county spent to help build the passenger terminal at Pittsburgh International Airport.

And so on. For the record, Mr. Briem of Pitt doesn't seem as alarmist as his colleague Mr. Strauss over at CMU.

However, the dirty little, unsubstantiated secret, whispered and murmured in the back of County Offices is that Allegheny County is, effectively, broke, but some fancy footwork (I dare not say "cooked books") has made it seem that they're operating in the black. The rumor continues on to say that the breadth of the problem is even worse than the City's own financial crisis, but they've been very good at concealing it.

From my own personal experience, I've heard many criticisms of County Government including "they hire too many consultants," "they have too much middle management," "they provide services inefficiently or ineffectively," and "the guy in charge is a third rate CPA who wants to be governor." I cannot speak for the veracity or validity of such claims, but considering how many people have independently voiced them to me, I cannot easily dismiss the sneaking suspicion that something is wrong in the County Office of Budget & Finance.

Above all, I find that interesting.

Drink Tax Implemented

Happy frickin' New Year and dammit all.

Allegheny County bars and restaurants will... be ringing up an extra 10 percent per drink they serve...

County Treasurer John Weinstein says he may let the businesses pay the tax based on estimated sales for the first month until they get used to collecting it.

I'll never get used to it.

On an unrelated note, my lunch plans have now been permanently changed.

In a totally unrelated note, this blog is being changed to The Angry Drunk Bootlegger.

In a further, totally unrelated note, does anyone know if bathtub gin is supposed to make you blind?

Onorato Defends Use of Blackwater, Inc. in County Contracting Jobs

Pittsburgh (AP) - Responding to criticisms about employment practices in the Department of Human Services, Allegheny County Executive Director Dan Onorato today announced that he would be "scaling back" the work of embattled military contractor Blackwater USA.

The announcement comes amid a string of allegations involving Blackwater employees hired by the county to provide facilities management and human resources services.

In one case, a Blackwater employee facilitating a community meeting lost his composure and opened fire on a room full of grandmothers. The contractor was fired and fined; no charges have been filed.

Blackwater guards were involved in a Sept. 16 shootout at the Community College of Allegheny County that left 13 students dead. The FBI is investigating.

Most recently, several Blackwater accountants were involved with the ritualistic slaughter of 7 auditors because of supposed GAAP accounting policies.

Mr. Onorato said that he was "concerned" about the turn of events and would take up the matter personally.

"I have been in constant contact with the management [of Blackwater], and they have assured me that their contractors' responses were measured and appropriate."

That sentiment was not good enough for County Councilmember Susan Caldwell.

"You basically have a government under the control of a third party, interested in its corporate goals and the bottom line... [Blackwater] doesn't care about the interests of the County. Plus, they keep killing people."

A special County Council meeting has been scheduled for October 20, although technical difficulties may postpone the event until they can figure out how to clean the blood out of the copier.

Unattended Salad Raises Terror Alert

From the Post-Gazette:

A salad left unattended in a bag under a restroom sink prompted the closing of the Grant Street entrance to the Allegheny County Courthouse and the evacuation of county Chief Executive Dan Onorato's office for about an hour this afternoon.

Bomb sniffing dogs were sent into the ladies room after a paper bag was spotted about 1:20 p.m.

Officials said a salad was found in the bag, and the alert was lifted by 2:20 p.m.

Officers said their actions were a precaution. Other entrances remained open and courts remained in session, but a second office, that of the controller's payroll division, also was evacuated.

The County Police Department has been on high alert for suspicious plant related terrorism since hiring a new self defense instructor (pictured below), who has trained the force in how to defend themselves against passion fruit, oranges, apples, grapefruit, pomegranates, greengages, grapes, lemons, plums, mangoes in syrup, cherries, and bananas.



County Executive Dan Onorato has launched and inquiry as to why more training has not been done regarding pointed sticks.

Live Streaming Bureaucracy

Obviously trying to cash in on this whole "Internet" thing, Allegheny County has, as of tonight, begun to post live streaming video of its County Council meetings. Now, you too can watch the thrills of Council Meetings from the safety and comfort of your couch, bed, or, in my case, toilet.*

So if you've ever wanted to see the first reading of "An Ordinance of the County of Allegheny, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, amending and supplementing the Allegheny County Code of Ordinances, Division 2, entitled "County Government Operations," by adding a new Section 230-6, entitled "Backup 911 Call Center," requiring the continuous maintenance of a live backup 911 call center that can be rendered fully functional within minutes of a significant or catastrophic failure at the County's primary 911 call center," but just haven't been able to get into town, well, you are in luck now, friend. ("Luck", of course, is a relative term.)

Unless you're like me and Windows MediaPlayer crashes for you like a nearsighted drunk baby behind the wheel of a Kia Optima.**

Actually, I'm of mixed feelings on this whole eGovernment thingee:

By publicly posting and broadcasting this kind of information (as well as meeting minutes and agendas) the elected officials can be brought to task for the stupid things they say and do at public meetings, which would otherwise only be available to those of the public and press corps that bothered to show up and stay awake. I'm actually in favor of online posting of all public meetings in the City and County Governments from Zoning Board of Adjustments hearings through Sports and Exhibition Authority Meetings to City and County Council Meetings. This is mostly because I think I've thoroughly exhausted YouTube's Collection of drunk Orson Welles outtakes, but also partially because I like to know and have access to this type of information.

I'm also nebby.

I also have begun to loathe paper, but that's a discussion for later.

On the other hand, it does bring up the whole Grandstanding Asshole Politician who-doesn't-understand-this-thing-called YouTube Phenomena. [I'm looking at you George Allen!] I can see the gaffes of some of our local dunderheads being repeated ad nauseum around the world and I can see some of our local dunderheads actually trying to cause a ruckus in the hopes of making eBaum's World. I don't really want Pittsburgh to be the Big Brother of Government.

And yes, I recognize the head shattering incongruity of that last sentence.

For now, however, despite the best efforts of the City and County Information Systems departments, I think the llama song is safe from competition from regional eGovernment.

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*Which is, let's be fair here, an apropos place for this kind of thing.
** Hint! Hint! Per I. Madsen.