Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Local Blogger Refuses to Leave Basement "Until Country Is Less Stupid"

(Reuters) Pittsburgh, PA - A local anonymous blogger today announced that he was staging a "Basement-In" until the the Country is less stupid.

The Blogger, who writes for a well-known, if sporatically updated, electronic publication announced via email that "the current state of the country is too dumb to be a part of."

"I have my Netflix, I have several cases of wine and beer, I have a Wii... I figure I can last 12-18 months isolated away until our collective IQs break triple digits."

Sources close to the Blogger indicate that the recent kerfluffle over the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" were finally the straw that broke the camel's back.

"We were watching CNN," said his wife who refused to be named, "And then this report came on and he just started ranting. 'How can they be reporting on this,' he shouted, 'How can they... There's the First... I mean...' And then he just trailed off. I think the stupidity finally broke his brain."

No word on whether the Blogger actually intends on carrying through on his threat, although reports indicate that he has ordered 400 pounds of Cheetos, indicating a long seige.


Mark Rauterkus said...


Fear not. We've got Blog Fest 20 next week. If it isn't Bram, then I'm sure he'll be out for that event.


Friday, the 27th.

Anonymous said...

It is not Bram

George Buddy said...

Awww, come on, go ahead out and get some sun. No one's watching the house.

Anonymous said...

You'd best modify your condition for emerging from the basement, or your exile will be permanent

Bram Reichbaum said...

No, I'm holed up until the country is better looking. See you at Podscamp though, Mark!

red pen mama said...

I so understand this.

I bet if the local blogger were paying attention to the threat to burn the quoran by 50 people in Florida, he'd be having seizures.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I am directing a lot of freshman poly sci students to the site and they need you to get current. Please. These are potential disciples.

MH said...

If you don't go back to posting, we'll never get light rail to Oakland.

deegazette said...

I can't even imagine the profound thoughts that will be pouring forth when ADB gives up this hunger strike of words!!

How much longer must we suffer?

Anonymous said...

Really lame satire. However true, that we are a nation of morons, the proposition is strengthened by the blogger who misunderstands the angst of those opposed to the "Ground Zero Mosque." Most have a clear understanding of the First Amendment implications of their position; they are merely exercising their own First Amendment right to oppose the tasteless decision to construct such a grand Muslim "Community Center" so close to the location of such a horrific national tragedy. They are asking for reconsideration based on compassion and taste, not a demand that they stop practicing religion. Jesus--this is as bad as reading John MacIntyre's blog.

George Buddy said...

Hey why can't the drunk bureaucrat still post entries from his basement? He already did a few days ago!

Friday, September 24, 2010
And the Elder Gods...

in their timeless, deathless halls continue to gnaw upon the world...

Posted by O at 12:24 AM

I smell a rat.

His wife, or fictional lover??

Ms. Monongahela, Ms. Chief Editor said...
But the country is not less stupid yet. Why do you speak, ADB?

12:16 PM

Rat? Sneaking upstairs for outrageous chicken salad sandwiches and Chardonny?

ADB? Ah Hah! Now we know his initials.