Thursday, February 01, 2007

Thousands of Suspicious of Devices Found Throughout City



Downtown (AP) - Police announced today the discovery of thousands of unidentified, potentially lethal, devices spread throughout the City, causing the shut down of several major arteries.

The discovery of the first of these devices was first reported at around 9:15 this morning downtown. Several minutes later, another was reported nearby. By 11 AM, well over one thousand devices were reported throughout the City, on or near every corner in every neighborhood. Bomb units scrambled to investigate. All devices were destroyed.

Witnesses report that the devices had been in place for several weeks, perhaps months before police were notified. Several other witnesses also reported the presence of men, possibly of middle eastern decent, seen lurking within 500 feet of the devices.

At a press conference earlier today, the Chief of Police announced a sweep of the City for suspicious activities. "We are deeply disturbed by these turns of events. Each one of these devices, we have been informed by reputable scientists, contain the nuclear energy equivalent to hundreds of Hiroshima type bombs. Additionally, the contents of the devices contain materials that are related to the production of nuclear weapons, specifically deuterium. Those responsible for bringing fear to this City will be brought to justice."

As the investigation was unfolding, Gail Marcinkiewicz, a spokeswoman for the FBI, said the link to terrorism was inconclusive.

Police, however, said they were taking no chances. "Fourteen people have been arrested in connection with these devices, including the head of the Department of Public Works. We fear that this conspiracy goes right to the top. As a precaution, the Mayor and four of his closest aids have been arrested, all libraries have been closed, and habeus corpus has been suspended. As a precaution, a curfew has been instituted. Those found violating the curfew are to be shot on sight."

Additionally, because of low water pressure, all citizens are asked to conserve water.

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