Pythons Lose to Aardvarks 57-40

The Pennsylvania Pythons were dealt a serious blow to their playoff hopes today when they lost to the Alabama Aardvarks 57-40. Despite having rung up 17 more points than the Aardvarks, archaic NFL rules stipulate that a winning team must score at least two thirds of the points on the board.

The Pythons were hampered by a fumble by center Jonah Cenim, allowing the Aardvarks to retain possession during a late 4th Quarter drive. Overthrown passes to Wide Receiver Sam Ilurowski and Welsh Tight End Otto Scrwbn also doomed the Pythons.

Despite a late, and some say "unnecessary," field goal by kicker Olli Suscanns, the Pythons saw another defeat in what appears to be a season of defeats for the team.

Many fans considered this a symbolically important game against their long time rivals. Many commentators saw a Python win as "inevitable."

"We went out there and gave it our best," said head coach Ryhard Eri, "if it weren't for these damned rules, we would have won this thing."

Many fan have blamed Eri this season, however, for not running a strong ground game, the historical strength of the Pythons franchise.

The Aardvarks maintained a strong defense throughout the game, barely giving ground despite the overwhelming crowd noise. Throughout the season, the team has shown an astonishing resilience, in the face of an inability to score points, continually lining up on the wrong side of the field, and instances of massive head trauma. Their best success, however, has come as the result of penalty flags based on arcane NFL rules.

The 2/3rds rule dates back to the founding of the AFC in the early part of the century, when the majority of players were acquired from college football teams. Originally, it was considered "ungentlemanly" to win by a close margin, and the 2/3rds rule was established to ensure that teams would be evenly matched and that individual players could be fully utilized. There has been talk that the NFL may consider changing the rule, as well as provide for instant replays.

As the Pythons close the 2009-2010 season with a better than .500 season, they face a loss of several players due to retirement and free agency.

"It's going to be a tough upcoming season," said Irish team President Mack A. O'bara, "This loss is disappointing, but fortunately, I'm also betting the spread."