Friday, December 10, 2010

Senator Bernie Sanders "Filibusters" Tax Plan

Faced with increased pressure coming from the President and his Democratic allies in the Senate, Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) mounted a rare 8 1/2 hour filibuster of a proposed tax package crafted by the White House and Senate Republicans.

He began the marathon speech at 10:25 AM, railing against the proposed tax plan. In short order, however, it became clear as to what his true intent was.

"Now, I had some pretty good coaching last night," said the Senator, "and I find that if I yield only for a question or a point of order or a personal privilege, that I can hold this floor almost until doomsday. In other words, I've got a piece to speak, and blow hot or cold, I'm going to speak it."

Senate Sanders, who was not technically engaging in a filibuster as no legislation was being blocked, spoke for the next eight hours, railing against a plan which extends "unaffordable" Bush era tax cuts for the next two years.

By 7PM, his voice audibly hoarse, the speech reached its climax,

"You think I'm licked. You all think I'm licked. Well, I'm not licked. And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. Even if the room gets filled with lies like these, and the FoxNewses and all their armies come marching into this place."

With that, the Senator collapsed in the Senate well.

Amidst the confusion, the Senior Senator from Vermont Joseph Harrison Paine rushed to the floor.

"I'm not fit to be a senator! I'm not fit to live! Expel me!" said Senator Paine, "This tax plan is a fraud! It's a crime against the people who sent me here - and I committed it! Every word that boy said is the truth! Every word about FoxNews and me and graft and the rotten political corruption of my state! Every word of it is true! I'm not fit for office! I'm not fit for any place of honor or trust! Expel me, not that boy!"

More as this story develops.

10 comments:

Tiffany Jewelry said...

It's an amazing blog.Thank you for sharing,your post let me know a lot of information and knowledge.

coach outlet online said...

Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts.Any way Ill be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

Kay Jewelers said...

I didn't care for this blog post at all, but you know, buy some fucking necklaces.

coach outlet online said...

Necklaces are shit. Buy a purse. You know you want to.

Tiffany Jewelry said...

I just earned six cents for reading your strange capitalist letters. When the revolution comes, people with Coach handbags will be the first up against the wall.

Coach Outlet Online said...

Fine. Nobody wants a purse. I get it. How about a wallet? A belt? You want your pants to fall down and so you show a plumber's crack everytime you get something from the bottom drawer? You people disgust me.

CrapTooShittyforTJMAX said...

Obviously, my esteemed colleagues have over-estimated the budget or taste of your average reader. If you’re going to move merchandise, you have to meet the market. Having a url and the ability to read a captcha isn’t enough.

President Barack Obama said...

Just a quick comment to thank you for everything that you do. With your efforts, America's brightest days are ahead of us.

America's Least Remembered Cars said...

You promised you wouldn't forget about us. I'm going to call that weepy guy.

Coach Outlet Online said...

I have to come clean about something. Our "Coach" handbags are made of people. And not especially attractive people either.