Specter Defecates on Republican Party

(Reuters) Washington D.C. - Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter announced today that he was defecating on the Republican Party and would now caucus with the Democrats.

Specter told reporters that this was a "hard struggle for him and something that he strained over for a long time," but now he "feels a great sense of relief as if a great load has been lifted from him."

He said informed Republican and Democratic Senate leaders several hours after dinnertime last night.

Senator Specter has been a key advocate of the corn industry, as well as the bean, dairy, and logging lobbies. A keen supporter of science, the Senator has sponsored a NASA mission to Uranus.

It was clear that by this afternoon, however, Specter's actions had left a great stench in the nostrils of his former colleagues.

"This just proves that Arlen has just been floating around the party, without any real moral fiber," said Senator Jon Kyle, the Republican Party's #2 man in the Senate. "Frankly, I think that there are a whole lot of Pennsylvanians that hope his career goes down the toilet.

This is not the first instance of party defecation in recent memory. Former Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords also crapped out on the GOP in 2002. Similarly, Senator Joe Liebermann became an Independent following a primary loss; for his actions, Liebermann was repeatedly called a "loose tool" of the GOP by his Democratic opponents.

Some have speculated that Senators Snowe and Collins, both of Maine, may similarly release themselves from their party, but publicly they have stated their intentions to cling on as long as they serve in the Senate.

Said Senator Specter, "I wish my former colleagues well, but I dumped them for good reason."