Short Line R.R.

Via the PG, Mikey Lamb announced his support for a Commuter Rail Line to travel from Hazelwood through Oakland to Downtown. If you've ever ridden Amtrak's Capital Limited, you'll know the route through Hazelwood, up through Junction Hollow, past CMU, under Neville Avenue, and along the busway through the strip.

Yes, I am whistfully romantic about rail travel, OK. There's just something very Civilized about it. It may be slow, but you have more leg room than a plane, a better class of people than the buss, and you can enjoy the scenery more than in a car. I long to ride with Hercule Poirot.

So, anyway. Mike's looking at this as an alternative to the Mon-Fayette, which fantabulous, although I have a couple of questions:

(1) Where's the money coming from?
(2) What are the equity issues involved here? Is Mikey proposing bypassing the Hill? Why couldn't this fancy commuter rail service Homewood or East Liberty or Braddock, instead of the less desireable busway? Are the predominantly poorer, blacker neighborhoods of Pittsburgh always going to have bus service while the whiter, more affluent suburbs have Light Rail?
(3) Where's the money coming from?
(4) Is this really Mikey's job to be proposing such a project? Isn't this a non-starter as a MFX alternative if the Turnpike Commission has its heart set on dropping $8 gagillion dollars on a toll road?
(5) Where's the money coming from?
(6) Why stop service at the strip and not take it all the way to Gateway Center? Why are we adding in a 3rd mode of unintegrated mass transit? Would it be a better long term investment to just extend the T?
(7) Where's the money coming from?
(8) No pooftas!
(9) Where's the money coming from?
(10) Would you want PAT to manage this? Really?

Part of me suspects that this is an attempt by Lamb to undercut O'Connor's support in Hazelwood, which is dead set against the MFX. The other part of me surmises that Lamb is trying to one up O'Connor's grand Trolley Line.

Next week, expect Bill Peduto to endorse water taxis, Louis Kendrick to endorse hover cars, Les Ludwig to endorse giant catapults, Daniel F. Repovz and Gary W. Henderson to jointly endorse "rocket pants," and Joe Weinroth to endorse walking really, really fast.

Des Pensées Bureaucratiques

In his Pensées, Blaise Pascal presents his philosophy through brief ideas and staccatto jottings. The experience of reading this work is much like the experience that Plato ascribes to his cave-dwelling man who comes back into the cave after experiencing the Truth. Truth, in both Plato's and Pascal's formulation, can only be experienced in instantaneous insights -- overwhelming moments of clarity, if you will -- that subside almost as quickly as they appeared. And while Plato, Pascal, Zarathustra, et al. have been kind enough to descend from the cave from time to time in order to bring the Truth with them, we, the troglodytes that we are, seem even stupider after having been exposed to these ideas.

Anyway, with that preface out of the way, some of my thoughts for the day:

The First: The #1 Problem with Public service is the Public.
The Second: When the boss's, boss's, boss's, boss comes looking for you, it can only mean trouble.
The Third: Nothing good can come out of a closed door Board meeting.

Back to the cave. Come Robin!

Rule #6

After a long day of...well... unmitigated crap:

Rule #6: "Politics is the enemy of good government."

So many of those we willingly elect to office, we would not willingly hire as employees. That is the great tragedy of American bureaucracy.

Iran

Today's lead story in the New York Times: Data Is Lacking on Iran's Arms, U.S. Panel Says.

The invasion is set for just after midterm elections.

As I Lay Dying

When the seasons change, I get a cold, a nasty, lingering cold that sits in my sinuses for weeks on ends. By the end of the second day, I'm disoriented, confused, and incoherrent. [All of which makes me a viable candidate for Mayor of Pittsburgh.]

Anyway, today at THE BUREAUCRACY, between delusional ramblings that Aliens are stealing my luggage, I got to thinking about all the things that are going on in Pittsburgh and if anyone actually sat down and took notice.

This is not waxing romantically, by the way; this is a legitimate Economic Development question:

Has anyone actually taken stock of the Economic Development tools that the City of Pittsburgh has at its disposal?

Seriously.

Catalyst Connection has some ideas. So does The Carnegie Library. They both seem to be lacking, however, in a way that I can't quite put my finger on.

For example: No mention of The Community Design Center of Pittsburgh or The Community Technical Assistance Center. No funders are listed either. Nor tradesmen.

Maybe this is just typical of the fractousness of the region. I mean, if you can't get the Pittsburgh Foundation and the Builder's Association of Metropolitan Pittsburgh to work together, how can you expect Blawnox and Mt. Lebanon to do it?

I'm going to chalk this up to the NyQuil, but what kinds of community and economic development tools are out there and what exactly are they doing?

Property Assessment Monday

Just a couple of thoughts I had during my commute into work this morning as I muddled my way through traffic.

[Ed.note: The spell-checker has decided to stop working. We appollogize for any mispeelings.]

First, it seems that there are some distinct classes in an ideal reassessment:
(1) Those that saw their values change because of change to the unit.
(2) Those that saw their values change because of change to the community.
(3) Those that saw their values change because of change to the general economy.

So, if any of these are in the positived direction, it's a net win to the homeowner, i.e, the value of their house increases. (Exception is #3 if we're talking about adjustment because of inflation.) If any of these changes are in the negative direction, it's a net loss.

Second, assessment should equal sales price (projected). Assessment can only equal sales price if there has been a transaction. Therefore, the county needs to make certain projections based on comparable sales. This, we'll admit, is hard.

OK, one could argue that the comparables used do not match the value of the assessed unit, which is a legitimate complaint. A yearly assessment is probably the best way to do it; the assessors need to make sure that they are up to date on the latest values and shifts in market trends.

Third, a high assessment is good if you are looking at the value of your house, your share of equity in the house, and your ability to sell the house. It is bad if you are only concerned with taxes. [We will all agree that no one likes to pay taxes.] Well, why is the proposed Onorato cap on the assessment and not on the municipal taxes? Aren't people really complaining that the increased value is leading to the increased taxes? To satisfy those concerns, shouldn't there be an anti-windfall provision so that municipalities are forced to readjust their milliage rates?

Oh... there is. 5%

In effect, Onorato is artificially depressing the projected value in order to keep taxes low, but not giving a truly assessed value. This is a boon to the higher income brackets who's 4% cap will be a greater amount than a lower income 4% cap, but who will still be able to sell their property at the higher "market" rate.

Fourth point and I'll let you go. One of the objects of traditional Bricks & Mortar Economic Development is to increase the overall value of a community. Pittsburgh builds 50 new houses in Garfield, the value of Garfield increases, the surrounding assessment increases, tax revenue increases, and the City has more money to do other stuff with.

Capping the amount an assessment can increase in a given year artificially depresses the projected benefits of bricks & mortar economic development, stifiling the ability of the City to increase its tax revenues.

So not only do surrounding homeowners lose the benefits of a positive revaluation, but the City misses out on real income. A quick back of the envelope calculation is showing that with a 4% cap in place [assuming that assessments changes are fairly evenly distributed, but with only a 25% declining rate] the taxing bodies lose out on about 10-20% of the original revenue over and above they would have received if they were only stuck with the 5% anti-windfall provision.

Simply put:
Old Total Value: $24,370,701.20
Old Total Revenue: $716,742.32

New Total Value: $31,581,581.32 (Random, evenly distributed change, 75% of properties showing increased value)
New Total Revenue: $928,814.31
5% Anti-Winfall Revenue: $745,412.02

4% Capped Total Value: $22,140,331.54
4% Capped Total Revenue: $651,147.15

Net loss in this example to the taxing bodies: $65,595.17 over old assessment.

Just some thoughts.

Victim #3

I'm hoping that more candidates enter Pittsburgh's Mayoral Race as I've effectively run out of people to mock. I'm hoping that this series will inspire more people to open themselves up to public ridicule, that is, without having to run on the Constitution Party Ticket. If Les Ludwig and/or Joe Weinroth set up campaign sites, I will also thoroughly mock them... I mean their sites.

The previous victims are found here and here. But now Victim #3 :

Michael Lamb

MAIN PAGE:
By the looks of his photo, Michael Lamb seems to be angling for the semi-influential block of voters with heads shaped vaguely like buckets. Not nearly as creepy as good Bobby O's "Dirty Shop Teacher" photo, but still unsettling. Makes you wonder what the rejected photos look like; I'm guessing they made him look more like Gumby.

And look, Mike's left a little note for us. I've decided to write back to him, as is common courtesy:

Dear Mikey,

I'm a smarmy blogger and welcome to my online mocking of your webpage. Please indulge me as I pick at the little foibles of your site and the inanity of your political ideals by comparing them to various bodily excrements and 80s sci-fi movies.

I am looking forward to this opportunity to add nothing to this conversation with you and to share my thoughts and visions about the future of hard-core man on goat porn. This web site is a central point for inane commentary on nothing in particular.

Please visit my website as I continue to ramble mindlessly. In addition, thank you for opening yourself up to public scorn and ridicule. If it weren't for people like you, I wouldn't have anything in particular to write about.

Hugs and Squishy Kisses,

The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

P.S. If you are finished with the hairdryer, could you please pop it in the mail?

I hope Mike writes me back. We've grown so distant as of late.

ABOUT PAGE:
Michael Lamb, 42, is an attorney admitted to practice in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; very few lawyers actually admit to practicing in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. He has received his JD from the University of Pittsburgh, his MPM from Carnegie Mellon, his BA from Penn State, his TQM from DED, POS, QED, LMNOP. Etc.

Mikey is currently the Prothonotary of Allegheny County.

In the words of Harry S Truman: "What the Hell is a Prothonotary?"

Well, according to Dictionary.com, a prothonotary is one of a college of 12 ecclesiastics charged with the registry of important pontifical proceedings. Why Pittsburgh is the repository for Papal documents is beyond me, but if His Holiness is involved, it's got to be OK. We should give Il Papa a call about the City of Pittsburgh budget crisis. I hear his accountants are infallible.

Mike also enjoys long walks on the beach, real strawberries on ice cream, sad songs at midnight, filing things under the letter "Q," and photos that make him look dopey.

His turnoffs include people that leave the toilet seat up, wicker, and Bob O'Connor.

NEWS PAGE:
[It's at this point, that "O" is going to go for more Bourbon. This page is painful.]
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[Deep Breath]

If you've never had Maker's Mark Bourbon, you must try it some time. It's both Oaky and Smooth... and it'll help you get through Mike Lamb's News Page.

The Left Side of the Page are various news items/editorials. I'm going to ignore them as I... I... I really don't care enough to read them all, especially having read the Right side of the page..

The Right Side of the Page are the Press Releases.

Ugh. [Big Gulp of Bourbon] Here goes a brief overview:

Strong Showing for Lamb
Mikey explains that by losing by nearly 2:1 to Bobby O in the endorsement race, he's actually won. Now, the City of Pittsburgh can move forward, not backwards, and not slouch in the corner, pretending to be interested in the CD collection so that someone might try and strike up a conversation with us.

Lamb Plan for Pittsburgh: First Address City Finances
Platitude, Pandering, Pandering, Crap, Crap, Cliches, More Crap, Meaningless Jargon, Idea 1 (outsource tax collection), Uninformed Idea, Non-Solution, Uninformed Idea, Meaningless Cliche, half-assed pledge, Idea 2 (City-County COG... an idea that may be unworkable), Crap, Crap, Filler, Filler, Filler.

OK, two real ideas out of 625 words, not bad... unfortunately only one of those is unique to Mikey (tax outsourcing). Although, I must say, I don't trust either the County or the Commonwealth anymore than I would trust the City. Just because they can hide their mess doesn't mean that they are in any better shape.

Most of the other "Ideas" he has are things that the city is doing anyway, albeit slowly.

Moving on...

"Where's the Beef, Bob?"
Mikey turns to a senior citizen and asks him "What's your problem?".

Lamb Blasts O'Connor for Ducking Responsibility
Mikey tells said senior citizen to step outside if he has a problem.

Michael Lamb: Let's Give Voters a Clear Choice
Mikey shoves a broken bottle in senior citizen's face and shouts "Stitch that Bobby!"

Geez, I will gladly vote for Mikey for the position of "Angry, Fightin' Bureaucrat." I want to party with this cowboy, but I have a feeling that he's the kind of mayor that would hork in the back seat of your Geo Metro after a long night of Bureaucratic debauchery (prepared in triplicate). Dude is evidently pissed about something and if he had as much Bourbon as I've had, we could both go requisition, say, Du Bois.

Pizzburgh Bureaucratz 4 Life (as per USC 42 Chapter 68(I) § 5122 (2), biatches)!

EVENTS PAGE:
On that note, Mikey likes drinking... and Irish Bands. Awesome.

He also likes long walks at 10 AM on Saturdays and 11 AM on Sundays.

LINKS PAGE:
Zzzzzzzzz....

Wha? Did someone say Prothonotary?

Zzzzzzzzz.....

BIG let down after the bureaucratic rave that was the EVENTS PAGE.

VOLUNTEER PAGE:

Let's see, I volunteered Bob O'Connor to place a yard sign at his house. I hope that wasn't a conflict of interest.

CONTACT PAGE:
If you're interested in more information...

I'm not

DONATE PAGE:

I tried to donate a pint of B- at this page, but it didn't let me. Ungrateful bitches.

I also tried to send a Czech, but Vaclav wouldn't fit in the envelope.

Final scores:
CONTENT
(1) Eye Roll: Strong Showing for Lamb
Mikey, Denile ain't just a River in Egypt.
(2) Yeah...and...: Lamb Plan for Pittsburgh: First Address City Finances
Good try, but a lot of ideas that don't go anywhere, like this little gem:

In addition, large tracts of land where public housing communities once stood lie vacant and unused. This property must become productive once more, and Lamb pledged that his administration will make that happen.

Yeah...and...?
(3) Buzzword:
Well, I didn't knock Billy-boy for his overuse of "Leadership," and I only gave a minor slap on the wrist to Bobby for his trite cliches. Mikey's punishment is to FIX THE MAIN PICTURE SO HE DOESN'T LOOK SO DAMNED GOOFY!!!

Sheesh.

STYLE
Nice balance between text and the word "LAMB"... but why is there is a big black spot in the middle of the "A"? Is that the vortex to some parallel dimension where giant hair and flashing webpages cause little children to cry? Can we use it to hunt down and kill Sarah Connor?

SUMMARY:
Michael Lamb is a goofy looking, but pissed off prothonotary....whatever a prothonotary is.

ADB Endorsed Candidate for Mayor

No, not for Pittsburgh...for Las Vegas.

Via Fark.com: Mayor endorses gin to fourth graders

This is what made the British Empire great.

I prefer Gin & Tonic to Gin Martinis, but he's spot on when it comes to Bombay Saphire. Truly, Mayor Goodman is a mayor that has the guts to tell it like it is and stand up for what he believes in.

Everyone should believe in something; I believe I'll have a drink.

Off for some "Mayoral Time" of my own.

Property Tax Reassessments

OK, I'm fashionably late to the party as ever, but just my two cents as to Onorato's reassessment plan.

First, read this article from CMU's Finance Professor and Murphy gadfly Bob Strauss.

I want to focus, specifically on this quote:

A comparison of the assessed value (A) prior to its sale, with the price of the property (S) that sold within a period provides evidence on how accurate the initial assessment was, and can be summarized across properties that transacted through the use of various statistical measures of relative dispersion. If the resulting ratio, A/S, is constant across many properties in an assessing area, then assessment quality is thought to be high, and if A/S is quite variable, then assessment quality is thought to be low.

Bob goes on to say that a dispersion ratio of 15% between the sales price of properties and price of the properties is generally held to be the target for a "good" assessment. Allegheny County was at 29.5% in 2002.

Now, read this, specifically the lines that say:

The county considers assessments to be acceptable if they average 90 percent of actual sales prices across the county. For 2002, the figure was 94 percent.

OK...there is room for statistical shenanigans as we're looking at "average across the county." I can't tell you whether housing prices are normally distributed, but I would wager the answer is no. Notice that the 2004 "dispersion ratio" (i.e., a measure of the variability of the assessment accuracy) of 29.5% seems to contradict the 2004 "assessment ratio" (i.e., a measure of overall accuracy of the assessments) of 94%. Again, I'll wager that housing prices are not normally distributed.

The results of the study quoted in the PG showed that

15 wards were, on average, below 80 percent of the actual sale prices. That means assessments for those properties, which averaged as low as 64 percent in the 6th Ward -- Strip District, Polish Hill and Lawrenceville -- were substantially too low and owners likely are paying less than they should in property taxes.

In the other 17 wards and Mount Oliver, assessments were above 80 percent of the sales price. In the 12th Ward -- Lincoln, Lemington and Larimer -- sales averaged 104 percent of the county's assessed values, which means residents there probably will pay more than they should in taxes.

OK, what does this all mean?

I would argue, perhaps nothing. Having not seen the numbers, or the actual calculations involved, we should not be so quick to assume that the assessments are definitely out of whack. There is no evidence in the PG article that these assessments are varying wildly, just that they are over all higher or lower than the average of the surrounding area, which would mean that they are locally consistent. Clearly more research needs to be done, I need to get my hands on the calculations, or, perhaps, assessments need to be done more often.

The cynic in me believes that Onorato is forcing a 4% cap in the assessment increase in order to further certain political ambitions, or at least preserve and grow his political capital.

Anyway, Fester has a looong post on why assessments may increase and some of the political motivations to keep them low. I would argue that additionally, Onorato wants to keep his donors (i.e., the wealthy) happy with low property tax rates.

Pending further review, however, the immediate need to cap assessments this year might not just be short sighted, it may also be an illusion.

---
UPDATE My hyptertext skillz suck a little less ass, thanks to Fester.

Streetcar Named Campaign

Big Bobby O' has unveiled a plan to build a street car line from Downtown to Oakland.

Oy, where do we begin:

(1) OK, cool. Pittsburgh does suffer from the disconnectedness between Downtown and Oakland. Conceivably, if we could quickly and efficiently link these two neighborhoods together, we could combine the power of Pennsylvania's #2 and #3 commercial areas and expand the development of both neighborhoods into the Hill. From an Economic Development perspective, urban nodal development supported by efficient transportation infrastructure is a smart way to go.

(2) But why doesn't Bob just propose going to Mars instead? That's just about as likely. Observe:

(a) City is strapped for cash;
(b) Port Authority is strapped for cash (you'd think this would be PAT's job);
(c) As Peduto does note in the article, the State is more concerned with the Mon-Fayette than Light Rail;
(d) No real funding source has been identified;
(e) Having not seen the plans, are we proposing adding additional traffic to the already congested Fifth-Forbes Cooridor to Oakland?
(f) What exactly is the point of this trolley? Commuting? Tourism? Short trips?

Furrow has some additional reading all over his website about Public Transportation in Pittsburgh; it's good to brush up on the technical bits.

From a political standpoint, however, this is a non-starter with Mayor Bob. It's a fairly reasonable attempt to portray Bob as a "visionary" for the City of Pittsburgh, instead of a Party Hack. Unfortunately, it is not so much a viable plan as it is a White Elephant.

Can we propose water taxis now?