Thursday, December 06, 2007

This Blog Will Now Cost 10% More

OK, so the drink tax is now a done deal and only too late do I realize this was merely a trap to silence this blog.

On one hand you have a tax that funds the Port Authority; on the other hand, you have more expensive drinks at Gooski's, the Squirrel Cage, Penn Brewery, Mitchell's, Mullaney's, Piper's, D's, Big Jim's, Silky's, Sharp Edge (Emporium AND Creekhouse), Fat Head's, Ryan's, Kelly's, Buffalo Blues, and The Church. Your's truly is dependent on all of the above to power this blog.

Without the bus, I don't have the mind numbing tedium necessary to think up things like comparing the Mayor to a less competent George W. Bush without the whole "Male Cheerleader" thing.*

Without the drink, I don't have the fuel necessary to power my profanity laden rants and the protection necessary to keep the Downtown free WiFi waves out of my brain.

And, of course, I'm a contentious drunk, so I don't drink and drive... I drink and bus. [If you've never ridden the 61C and puked into the change box, well, you're a better person than me.]

But anyway, I'm not saying that the drink tax is directly aimed at me, but I have stocked up on beer, wine, vodka, gin, scotch, bourbon, port, mead, and sherry**, so I can exploit the "stay-at-home-and-drink-in-the-dark-alone" loophole in the law.

I hope you're happy, John DeFazio.

---
* Give me a break... I got a ride home today.
** But no Jägermeister.... that's just nasty.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

** But no Jägermeister.... that's just nasty.

Mmmm...minty.

Sorry, what's the subject again?

[vomits Jägermeister]

[wipes mouth]

Sorry, what's the subject again?


.

-spork_incident

fester said...

Come on, Jaeger is great with some light beer and orange juice...

Frank said...

You should setup a donations box in your sidebar that shows how many drinks you're planning on having in a given day, and then how much people need to donate to pay your tax for you!

The Blurgh

Bram Reichbaum said...

I think you mean you are a conscientious drunk. You are surely also a contentious drunk, but that's neither here nor there.

O said...

fester: Eeew! What idiot in is right mind would drink something like that.

Frank: I like the cut of your jib, m'laddo.

Bram: Conscientious/Contentious... whaddya want? I'm drunk... it says so in the title. You're lucky I can usually form a coherent sentence. Besides, have you *read* the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Sherry said...

join a fraternal club. the alcohol there is going up too but it's still usually a lot cheaper than anywhere else, especially the places you've mentioned.

if not, there are the joys of staying in drinking while snuggled in a blanket! it is winter.