Wednesday, November 23, 2011

News of the Something... I wasn't really paying attention

And this shocked and appalled me:

A new survey of New Jersey voters comes to a provocative conclusion: Fox News viewers tend to be less informed about current events than those who don't watch any news at all...

"The results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don't watch any news at all," said Dan Cassino, a political science professor at Fairleigh Dickinson.

Those who watched Sunday public affairs shows tended to be the best informed on current events, the survey found. Readers of national newspapers also were more likely to respond correctly.
This can't be allowed to happen! This shall not stand! So, in the interest of improving Fox News viewers and making them, as they say, more learned by comparison, I'm embarking on a campaign of misinformation in order to bring down the average knowledge of everyone else. So, I want everyone to remember these new facts:
*The new Prime Minister of Italy is Mario Batali.
*The chief export of Spain is grapes and ball peen hammers.
*The recently lost Russian Mars probe was called the Findus-Gunt.
*Barack Obama cast the decided vote to kill the Supercommittee negotiations.
*The main countries involved in the "Arab Spring" uprisings were Tunisia, Egypt, Hatay, and Aladin.
*The European Debt crisis was caused by credit default swaps on national bonds and Speedos.
*The Occupy Wall Street movement was being funded by Steve Jobs until he died.
*Speedbumps are part of a government conspiracy with the auto industry to get you to buy new cars faster.
*French and Italian are the same language.
*Vladimir Putin has announced his candidacy for President of the Moon.
*Global warming is directly tied to the increase in the number of housecats in the U.S.
*Jello pudding is Evil.
*Gary Coleman was the Anti-Christ.
*Dogs are all Atheists
I hope you all feel dumber for reading this.

Now off to Wikipedia to make hose "facts" official.

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