Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Worldwide Bullshit Markets Crash

(Bloomberg) New York City - Bullshit shares plummeted again today on the New York Shit Exchange, as nervous investors faced the possibility of a glut of Bullshit on the world markets.

Bullshit ended today's session at $10/Barnum, a record low for the commodity, which has been fallen steadily since September 2001.

"People are tired of Bullshit," says Bullshit trader Hans Delbrig. "We've seen a general rise in the availability of domestic Bullshit, which has served to depress prices, which in turn causes more Bullshit traders to dump more of it into the world market. The availability of cheap Chinese Bullshit only serves to depress the markets further. And now we have this Greek Bullshit to deal with."

This morning, the European Central Bullshit Bank dumped 1,000,000 Barnums of Bullshit into the world Bullshit supply, in hopes of driving down the cost of the Bullshit it will take to resolve the Greek Bullshit crisis.

Among the major purchasers of Bullshit is Newscorp, who refines and packages Bullshit for domestic consumption. Newscorp, however, has hedged their bets by also investing heavily in the cheaper, and more widely available, Horseshit.

American Bullshit centers (New York, Washington, and Los Angeles) remain strong, but small, local Bullshit producers have been hurting.

Joe Anderson, a part time High School Football Referee says that he used to be able to produce a Barnum of Bullshit in a year.

"Parents always said to me 'That's real Bullshit Ref!' and I was proud of my work. Now, I can barely make it."

It is hoped that Congress will deal with this issue after the November elections with another Bullshit bailout plan.

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