State Supreme Court "Can't See Ship" in Legislative Redistricting Map

In a stunning rebuke to the state GOP and mall kiosks everywhere, the State Supreme Court threw out the proposed legislative redistricting map because it couldn't see the ship that was supposedly contained within.

"This court finds that the final 2011 Legislative Reapportionment Plan is contrary to law," the seven-member court said, in a 4-3 decision. "Plus, we've been staring at it for, like, five hours now and we can't see anything."

Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Ronald Castille of Philadelphia said, "The Legislative Redistricting Commission keeps telling us to 'look past' the picture and let our eyes settle.  What the hell does that mean?  I'm not getting it, sorry."

The three minority justices, in their dissent, wrote "What do you mean you can't see it? It's so easy!  It's a ship, come on!"

Democratic legislators had argued that the proposal had gerrymandered districts to ensure solid Republican districts and had disenfranchised those with only one eye.

"This decision today is of historic proportion. I'm very pleased," a victorious state Sen. Jay Costa, D-Forest Hills, said Wednesday night.  "The Democratic party will continue its fight for the enfranchisement of Pirates, Cyclops, and Sandy Duncan."

Under orders from the high court, the Plan has now been sent back to the Commission where it is expected to be retooled as a Rorschach Test.


The map in question