Future Lawyers of America to Gonzales: Suck It

This almost makes me want to give up my hobby of hunting lawyers with an atlatl.

Things I'm Not Going to Write About Today

I'm not going to write a post today.

I'm not going to write about Mario Lemieux hanging up his skates; I kinda figured this was going to happen once he announced that he was gong to sell the team.

I'm not going to write about UPN and the WB merging to form the new network CRAP.

I'm not going to write about the impending confirmation of Samuel Alito; instead I'm going to plan my immigration to Canada.

I'm not going to write about my impending plan to immigrate to Canada, mostly because of yesterday's election and my change of plans.

I'm not going to talk about atlatl hunting, mostly because I'm already a certified atlatl enthusiast. I use them to hunt lawyers... well, corporate lawyers anyway.

I'm not going to talk about the donation of a bone field to UPitt.... I've seen their board of trustees, this is nothing new.

Meh. I'm done not talking.

Nuit d'élection spéciale, eh?

Je peux être le seul type dans la ville de Pittsburgh qui observe les retours entrent pour le Canada, mais en ce moment le CBC réclame un gouvernement de minorité (conservateur).

Il est l'une de ces choses que nous vers le bas des Sud juste ne comprenons pas : vous ne gagnez pas la majorité de voix, mais vous gagnez la commande du gouvernement.

D'accord, Al Gore comprend.

La chose intéressante, naturellement, est que, à la différence d'ici, il sera que les parties multiples forment un gouvernement et, vrai à la nature canadienne, un compromis.

Imaginez si elle était comme celle ici.

Bien, de nouveau aux équitations.

Election Night Special, eh?

I may be the only guy in the City of Pittsburgh that is watching the returns come in for Canada, but right now the CBC is calling for a minority government (Conservative). It's one of those things that we down South just don't understand: you don't win the majority of votes, but you win control of government.

OK, Al Gore understands.

The interesting thing, of course, is that, unlike here, it will be necessary for multiple parties to form a government and, true to Canadian nature, compromise.

Imagine if it was like that here.

Alright, back to the ridings.

Expedia Has Non-Stop Flights to Detroit for $521

Don't know about you... but I think we're Bussing it.

Go Stillers!

Danger! Falling Memes!

I've been hit by a meme. Thanks Sue; now I have to rinse meme out of my hair.

Here's the deal:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

My 23rd post was on January 27, 2005:

Who still hasn't made up his friggin' mind: The Silver Fox.

I think I heard that the Silver Fox became mayor of some Butt-Ugly city somewhere.

So, selecting the next suitable victims from the Blogroll...
Froth
Furrow
Fester
Amos and...
Let's say PittGirl. You're it!

Enjoy!

The Man Who Knows Where the Bodies Are Buried

I must say I'm shocked and appalled by the indictment of Cyril Wecht. I mean, Cyril is usuall such a laid back, reserved guy... hardly the kind of person that would do something brash. I find it hard to believe.

Actually... I'm torn by this case:

First, this is such a dull charge for Cyril. Fraud? Pish-posh! That's not really worthy of an indictment. I would have hoped that Pittsburgh could have come up with a better crime. The Firefighter/Murphy scandal is far more interesting; now THAT is good fraud, and collusion, I think. I was hoping for so much more.

OK... there's that whole "swapping corpses for work space" as reported. in the Trib. That was good.

But really, and this is my second point, this is just a case of someone taking their work home with them. I mean, would it be fraud if he took home Post-It notes? Why are a couple of dead people any different?

So, Cyril had a couple good moves, but the Hungarian judge is going to knock him a few points. Best he can hope for now is a Silver medal.

Buttin' Uglies

So if you read Pittsblog you would have noticed this article from the Rocky Mountain News regarding Pittsburgh.  Peter Leo in the PG noticed it; I can only assume that Peter Leo reads Pittsblog.  A selection from the article:

First impression: [Pittsburgh] is a hard town, filled with hard people who bop around their gun-metal gray burg with nothing but football on their minds...I will tell you this, something I would never tell one of the locals. Pittsburgh is one butt-ugly town...

It is precisely the type of town that would name its professional football team the Steelers. Old mills, long stilled, dot the town. Weeds spill from smokestacks.

Across the Ohio River from where I write this rises downtown Pittsburgh, as dark and forbidding a skyline as you will ever encounter.

Just to the north, right on the river, Heinz Field, home of the Steelers, rises almost cathedral-like, a bright-yellow behemoth that casts shadows on all that surrounds it.

It is, too, a town of bars. I have been here only a short time, but if there is a city block without a bar I haven't driven by it yet...

Alright, let's stop there...

 

If you're from Pittsburgh, you already know that this guy didn't actually visit here; he's slapping together some old copy from, say, 1980, and repackaging it for his editors.  I do not know these "long stilled, old mills" of which he speaks.  Perhaps he dreamt it; dreams are true... in a sense.  Perhaps it was ghost written by Jayson Blair... I don't know. 

 

But, to be fair, I have spent some time in Denver, so I can speak with some level of authority on that City... and do you want to talk about "Butt Ugly"?  Sheesh!

 

Denver is a festering taint stain at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.  It's not so much a City, as it is a place where civilization has splattered to the ground, like a hefty bag filled with meat, tossed out of a passing 747.  It slouches outward, block after block of strip malls and subdivisions, all looking the same, devoid of life.  It oozes outward, unconstrained by topography until it gets to the foothills and it lurches backwards; hell of a flat place for being "mile high".  It is a place upon which people from Texas cast scorn.  It is a 40-year old-housewife-on-Xanax of a City, content to wallow in its vacuousness. It is ugly, bereft of soul.  I wouldn't allow my dog to take a crap there, in the off chance that it might improve the City's image. 

 

In conclusion, Denver can get bent.

FOLLOW UP: Author turns tail after Pittsburgh ex-Pats gang up on him. Still no idea where this 19th Century mill is.

This is How the Republic Falls

In one of the message boards I was perusing today, I found this link about Hillary and the rebuttal about Newt. Apparently one of them is racist and the other is more racist. The boards lit up in rivers of flame.

And then there was the whole thing about Mayor Nagin calling New Orleans "Chocolate City." More flames.

And then there was more stuff... too inane to mention.

Meanwhile... the prescription drug plan is in shambles, Iraq is still a mess, the environment is degrading, oil companies are gougin us, the debt is increasing, the Chinese own more and more of this country, and we're running out of copper.

But seriously, the Nagin thing is important too... that and Scarlett Johansson's breasts.

Is this really what we've come to? Are we really so blinded by trivialities and minutiae that we allow it to interfere with the functioning of our political system? Is American Idol more important than the 4th Amendment? Do we really care anymore as long as we have a lottery and Victory Gin? Janet Jackon's areola got more public scrutiny than Haliburton's no-bid contracts.

Our attention span wanes with the next news cycle; we forget, we get distracted, and things don't get better. Frankly, I don't think we care.

I'm tired of not caring; I hope you are too.

Eternal Vigilance and whatnot.... until then, I'm on the soapbox.

Tnah na nah nah nah! HEY! T-nah t-nah! ...

[Yes that is my best phonetic impression of Rock 'n Roll #5.]

Let there be dancing in the street, drinking in the saloons, and
necking in the parlour!
And thank goodness tomorrow is reserved the inevitable hangover.

I'm going to go have a lie down for a bit, as I seem to be suffering
from a Cheney.

Go Stillers!