Department of Redundancy Elimination Department

I'm all for efficiency. I live and breathe efficiency. I task, multitask, ubertask, and tasktask. I spend hours trying to figure out quicker ways to automate tasks that eat up my time.

My boss calls it laziness.

So, in the interest of "efficiency" there's this elimination and this one. Let's start with the first:

City Councilman Jim Motznik plans to introduce a resolution today to ask voters to decide whether to reduce council from nine members to seven.

The change would occur after the 2010 U.S. Census, he wrote in a statement released yesterday, meaning council would keep its current size through 2011. Members would continue to be elected by district.

The proposal comes on the heels of a petition drive started last month to cut council to five members. City firefighters and the Republican Committee hope to turn in the signatures of at least 8,494 registered city voters by Aug. 8, ensuring a place on the November ballot.

Mr. Motznik's proposal raises the possibility that there could be two ballot questions dealing with the size of council.

And now the second one:

City of Pittsburgh Policy Director Yarone Zober has been nominated to the post of director of general services. Pittsburgh City Council members said today that they received the nomination yesterday.

The General Services Department is being eliminated, its functions divided between the Public Works Department and Finance Department. Mr. Zober's role would be to complete that process and "get rid of his job" as general services director, said mayoral spokesman Dick Skrinjar.

Council must confirm department heads. They are eligible to serve as deputy mayors should the mayor travel or become temporarily disabled.

Now, I'm opposed to the first one for a simple reason: it will screw up my system. I currently track large numbers of widgets across the city, by neighborhood, wards, streets, and, most importantly to Council, Council Districts.

If the City goes around and starts fidgiting with the lines, I have to start mucking around in my databases with lines of code and redrafting reports. It's going to be a real pain in my butt... 'cause I hate messing around in code.

Besides, I don't think that Mr. Motznick is serious... else he'd quit, right?

Although the concept of elimination of ones own job is interesting. I have some hints for Mr. Zober should he really wish to eliminate his:

1. Show up late to work. Really late. Like, a month late;
2. Nail the boss's daughter, or, alternatively, nail the boss's son. A word to Mr. Zober: the boss's son is a priest.
   
3. Start stealing office supplies. Fortunately for Mr. Zober, he's become head of office supplies. I would reccomend he steal the entire office.
   
4. Show up drunk.
   

Actually, the last one doesn't work. I've tried. People just think you're on Council.