Monday, November 20, 2006

Political Obituary

It is with great sadness that we announce the political death of retired Allegheny County Sheriff Pete DeFazio from complications resulting from a macing.* He was 36 years with law enforcement.

Recently retired Sheriff Pete DeFazio is expected to plead guilty to one misdemeanor count in federal court tomorrow -- the culmination of a more than five-year investigation into corruption in the Allegheny County Sheriff's Office.

Mr. DeFazio, who retired at the end of October, will plead guilty to macing. That charge is defined as denying a benefit to a government employee for not contributing to a particular candidate or political party.

The former sheriff is not accused of pressuring any of his employees to donate money to his fund-raising campaigns. However, he is believed to have known about such a scheme and benefitted from the efforts of other officers in the department who did pressure deputies to donate.
He is to be interred along side the recently politically deceased former captain Frank Schiralli, former Chief Deputy Sheriff Dennis Skosnik, and former State Representative Jeff Habay at a minimum security halfway house.** Visiting hours will be from 1-3, Monday through Friday with conjugal visits on Saturday from 2-6 (no dudes, please).

Friends, family, and coworkers have been told, in lieu of flowers, to give $50 each to the Ravenstahl for Mayor campaign... or else.

Pete is politically survived by his brother and LensCrafters sideshow freak "Jumpin'" Johnny DeFazio.

*We here at The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat were under the impression that a "macing" involved either a mishap at a Renaissance Faire or the culmination of a particularly unsuccessful date, as we have been involved in both.

**Mourners are invited to visit the currently under construction Cyril Wecht memorial designed to be the largest local monument to an indicted politician, ever.

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