Sticks and Stones

And then, there were nine.

Darlene Harris was sworn in as the newest member of Pittsburgh Council today, completing the transformation from feisty school board member to city legislator.

Her speech to a full Council Chamber, marked by tears when she thanked her 77-year-old mother, was shorter than most inaugural addresses. "Those of you in the room know that I'm a doer, not a talker," she said.

The 53-year-old Spring Hill native will serve out the remaining year of the term won by Luke Ravenstahl, who ascended to the mayor's office when Bob O'Connor died Sept. 1. She decisively won a Nov. 7 special election to the post.

*snicker* "Dooer" *snicker*
*snicker* "Poo-poo" *snicker*
*snicker* "Ca-ca" *snicker*

*cough*

Anyway, on council we now have the Book Thief, the Gas Thief, the Ditch Digger, the Other Ditch Digger, the Old School Hack, the Guy Who Won't Shut Up, Shadyside's Version of Otis, Tonya Payne and Darlene Harris.

The last two clearly do not convey the invective of the other noms de rigeur, and should clearly be abandoned in favor of epithets that fit Pittsburgh City Councilcritters.

I'm tentatively submitting for your approval "The Other Black Woman" and "The Troll", as possible monikers for these folks, but I'm willing to back down if more appropriate (and humorous) suggestions pop up in the comments.

Have at it!