Thursday, January 18, 2007

This Post Contains Nothing At All About Luke Ravenstahl

I was going to write about the new eatery coming to the old Lazarus building Downtown, complain about the lack of other reasonable activities Downtown after dark, complain about how "someone" should do something about it, and finally conclude that the market demand pretty much reflects what's out there and it's up to more people demanding evening activities downtown to really affect the market, so you better damn get up off your lazy collective bitch-assess right now and do something about it!!!

Instead I'm going to write about the Mayor's little run in with the law. Sorry for the misleading post title, but I figure that now that the MSM has broached the subject, it's safe to snark at. Besides, if everyone else jumped off a bridge, wouldn't you?

Personally, the answer is a resounding "No" as I am acro-, agora-, and hydrophobic. I won't go into it but I was once hit by a water cannon while standing on a mesa.

I digress.

If you haven't heard the alleged story yet, you probably don't work in City Government, or you've been living under a rock for the last 12 1/2 hours. Apparently Luke allegedly got into a bit of an alleged argument with a Police Officer in an alleged throng of people at an alleged Steelers game, words were alledgedly exchanged, there may have been some alledged pushing, and the (then) Councilman allegedly was handcuffed and brought to the alleged security office. There was *gasp* strong language used and Luke may have been *oh horror!* drinking, however, there is no record of what actually transpired and no charges were ever brought.

The best quote from Luke in the PG article, by the way, is

We couldn't control ourselves because of the force from behind.

But anyway, I think this is actually a really great opportunity for Luke.

First, the article intimates that he was drunk, or at least was indulging in copious amounts of libation. A couple more drinks and he'll almost have enough to match the first page of Bill Peduto's bar tab.

Second, run ins with the law are par for the course 'round these here parts. Just ask Cyril Wecht, Tom Murphy, or Ben Woods. Luke is in good (but unindicted) company. This scandal doesn't even have the corpse stealing angle of the Wecht case.

Third, if this is all Luke had on his wrap sheet when he was 26, he should consider himself very, very lucky. Let's just say that when I was his age, I had a very embarrassing incident with a Dodge Aries, a transgendered hooker, 17 illegal Haitian migrant workers, the FCC, an unidentifiable liquid in a test tube given to me by a friend, and a herd of goats (in hats). Under the terms of my settlement agreement, I'm afraid I can say no more.

Fourth, hell, this was at a Steelers' Game! I say if you aren't drunk out of your mind assaulting cops, you should be locked up... but mostly for your own protection.

Fifth, I think that it's refreshing to a see an Angry, Drunk Politician arguing with the police in front of a mob and getting dragged away in handcuffs. This is, interestingly enough, also how Andrew Jackson became President.

Sixth, The Angry Drunk Politician would make a really good blog name.


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