Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Gephyrophobia

OK, so PennDOT thought it was a good idea to release detailed safety ratings on Pennsylvania's steel deck truss bridges, the same design as the Interstate 35W Bridge that collapsed into the Mississippi River. It's not like we didn't have to worry about terrorism, bird flu, SARS, AIDS, school shootings, poisoned Halloween candy, flesh eating bacteria, sharks, botulism, anthrax, gang wars, roller coasters, cell phones, the Bush Administration, Iran, hoof and mouth disease, mad cow disease, peanuts, cats, flooding, tornadoes, earthquakes, pestilence, water turning to blood, combined storm & sanitary sewer runoff, asbestos, lead paint, small parts that could be choking hazards to young children, the International Space Station plunging out of orbit, illegal aliens, mine shafts, minimal allowances for rat feces, and the small, but real, possibility that Pauley Shore and Carrot Top may team up in a Joel Schumacher movie.

If all those things aren't enough to scare you, there seems to be a very real possibility that the Rankin Bridge may disappear out from under you as you make your way to Kennywood (or try to beat the traffic to the Waterfront). While I am normally a rational, reasonable person, the thought of plunging to my death in Rankin makes me completely mental.

What really makes me nervous, however, is that PennDOT is only reporting on the steel deck truss bridges. They haven't even begun on the through arch, concrete truss, box girder, compression arch suspended-deck, suspension, tied arch, or even lenticular truss bridges.

[Fortunately for Western Pennsylvania, our bascule bridges are fine.]

As if I don't have enough to worry about. And, of course, this being Pittsburgh, it's not like I could just live without crossing a bridge for my entire life, as I am not an old Italian woman from Bloomfield or my parents.

So big thanks PennDOT; you're getting my therapy bills.

3 comments:

Anthony said...

You forgot green onions. Or maybe you want HEPATITIS? Didn't think so.

Sherry said...

grilled red meat, hormones in milk or old italian grandparents even!


; )

Anonymous said...

You need a name modification. You're the Angry & Frightened Drunk Bureaucrat. You've got it right about old women from Bloomfield.