Pirates Trade Roster for Magic Beans

Pittsburgh (Sportswire) - Pirates Owner Robert Nutting has announced today that he has traded the entire roster for a sack of beans, which, according to Nutting are said to be "magic".

"I realize that most Pirates fans are going to question this decision," said Nutting in a late night press conference, "but I have been assured that these beans are 100% guaranteed as Magic by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn."

Pirates fans were outraged.

A caller to Stan Savran's show on ESPN Radio called this the worst move in the last 8 years. "I mean, is the head office even trying anymore. They bring up new talent year after year, and once they get even the slightest bit good, they sell them like a fire sale."

Still, even after the trade, the Pirates still remain ahead of the Washington National's in ESPN's Power Rankings.

This is not the first time that Nutting has been involved in a controversial trade. Recently, Nutting traded Xavier Nady to the Yankees for four minor league prospects, last year he traded Jason Bay for 1000 bags of pennies, and three years ago he traded his chocolate pudding for a half eaten package of cheese & crackers at lunch.

Late reports indicate that Pirates President & CEO Frank Coonelly has managed to steal the beans, and has thrown them out of the window.