Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Rick Perry Won't Stop Singing Karaoke

(Reuters) Austin, TX - Governor and Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry will not stop singing karaoke at Jim's Bar & Grill, according to local sources, despite numerous requests by the DJ to stop.

"The Governor comes in here every Thursday and literally takes over the microphone," said bar owner Duke "Duke" Dukenson. "We've asked him to find another bar or change up his repertoire, but honestly he's so bad that he's driving away other customers."

According to an aide who wished to remain anonymous, the Governor became interested in karaoke after he saw Mitt Romney perform at a fundraiser in Aimes, IA in the spring.

"The Governor saw Mitt (Romney) perform and said to us, 'Hey, I could do that.' And what were we going to tell him? No, you can't carry a tune in a bucket and you regularly forget the words to the songs. Nope, we invested in earplugs and signed him up for karaoke."

Governor Perry has performed his rendition of the Bee Gee's classic "Stayin' Alive" before packed, if hesitant, crowds in Austin. Numerous patrons have chosen to avail themselves of the facilities instead of listening. Undaunted, Perry performed a medley of "God Bless the U-S-A" and "Muskrat Love", which confused the audience further.

The reviews were not great.

"He's just, well, not that great," said a patron to Jim's Bar & Grill. "I mean, I kinda expected that the Governor of Texas wouldn't look like such an amateur on the stage, but he's kind of out of tune with the other songs. On the plus side, he's not that much worse than the other singers."

Herman Cain later performed his version of "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" which left the crowd wanting less.

Governor Perry's team insists that he doesn't have to be good, just be a better singer than all the others.

More as this story develops.

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