Thursday, February 02, 2012

Mitt Romney Realizes He's Reliving Stupid Comments

(Columbia News) Punxsutawney, PA - After what has seemed to him as being as upwards of 10,000 repetitions, Mitt Romney has come to the understanding that his is reliving the same stupid comments for eternity.

Having grown tired of the campaign season, Governor Romney has found himself endlessly repeating the phrases, "Corporations are people, my friends," "I like being able to fire people," and "I'm not concerned about the very poor".

Romney is not sure why he is continuing to repeat these phrases and why he keeps waking up to a Sonny and Cher tune every morning.

Experts indicate that the former Massachusetts Governor is suffering from an existentialist crisis, which may spiral down into long term depression and a loss in the General Election.

The only resolution to this problem seems to be an attempt as making himself seem at least somewhat human and possibly hooking up with Andie MacDowell.

No comments: