Friday, April 15, 2005

City Taxes Are Awesome

Ever the procrastinator, I waited until last night to e-file my City of Pittsburgh taxes and, despite the long queue to get access to the server, using their system was awesome, at least for me.

The great thing about City taxes, if there is such a thing, is that without deductions or any other nonsense, I can enter in my income (as paltry as it is), multiply it by 3% and figure out if it matches what I paid.

Couple passwords and that's it. BAM! I'm done. I can go back to watching season 2 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force in my robe and slippers.

Awesome! I love when technology makes my life easier.

Granted, I'd love it more if I never had to pay any taxes to the government, but former alternative of conquering and plundering countries is a bit messy for my taste.

I mean Rome did it for mumble-mumble hundreds of years, and it worked for them, that is, until the lead pipes made their emperors nuttier than Chinese Chicken Salad. Still, a triumphal procession down Pennsylvania Avenue showing off the spoils of the conquest of, say, Belgium sounds cool, but probably more complicated to pull off than the 1040 EZ. Probably also put a bunch of tax accountants out of work... or into the army. Yikes! Armed accountants here to forcibly audit you. How do you record the conquest of Brussels in your books? Is it a Current Asset? Liability? Equity? Do I need to get an actuary out there to give me the net value of a billion tulips? And I mean, the Army spends $500 for a hammer, think about what they'd say a windmill is worth.

To sum up: I like taxes better than invading Belgium.

1 comment:

CmdrSue said...

Accounting entry to "acquire" Brussels:
Debit Current Assets: City of Beer
Debit Fixed Assets: Museums
Credit Liabilities: European attitude

http://www.trabel.com/brussel/brussels-history.htm