Monday, May 16, 2005

Flotsam and Jetsam

Just some things from the impending local primary that have been wandering across my brain, but are not substantial enough to actually post about. Consider this a Election Stew Posting:

* I think Tonya Payne should have dumped the "Clean up Our House" tagline, in favor of Payne in the 6th District. Similarly, I like Get Stoned in the 8th District. Both of them have an air of truth to them.

* Speaking of promotional materials in the 6th District, at which meeting did Sala's campaign staff sit down and decide, "Our literature needs to be the same colour as feces?" Seriously. "Taco Bell Green/Brown" is not a colour that inspires confidence in a Leader.

* More on campaign literature: Did you notice that the "Evil" pictures of Michael Diven in Wayne Fontana's ads are the same as Michael Diven's "Good" pictures in his own ads. Diven needs to look less semi-evolved.

* Also on the 42nd Senate Race: After blaming Fontana for the reassessments and the increased property taxes, Diven is also blaming Fontana for the City's budget crisis, increased crime in Brookline, the Pirate's poor season thus far, the missing WMD in Iraq, and the French.

* Thank God we don't have to choose between Jury Commissioners this year. Lord knows I almost voted for the wrong one last time.

* Electing Dwayne Woodruff (yes, the former cornerback for the Steelers) as Judge is no more ludicrous than electing Lynn Swann as Governor. Frankly, I'd prefer Mark Malone as District Magistrate, but there you go.

* Remember: candidate for Judge Doug Walgren was ousted from his re-election bid to the House because the opposing candidate charged that Walgren lived in Virginia, not in his district. That opposing candidate? That pinnacle of virtue Sen. Rick Santorum.

* I say we drop the pretension and create an elected office called "Cyril Wecht"; that way someone else can run for coroner. Not sure what the office would involve, but I think it would have something to do with getting into major media outlets and yelling.

* I haven't campaigned strongly this year, but I am still in the running for the office of "Overlord." I am a write-in candidate, so make sure you tell the people at the polling station that you want to vote "'O'for Overlord". If they resist, demand another ballot. If they don't have ballots, knock over the machines. Chain yourself to the Majority Inspector. [This is largely the same strategy being used by the Ludwig campaign, so if the Majority Inspector is occupied, you can use the Majority Clerk.]

* Go vote tomorrow. Remember, if you stay home, you voted with the majority. Nice going asshole.

1 comment:

fester said...

I have no idea what Larrera's positions on anything are, but I like that candiates sign for their campaign for judge --- the Panera color palette --- distinctive, and makes me crave for a cinammon roll.