Informer Banned Throughout Municipality, "a licky boom-boom down"
Mayor last seen yelling at the sea
Punxsutawney Phil missing
The Optimist says: "The Glass is Half Full." The Pessimist says: "The Glass is Half Empty." The Bureaucrat says: "What we need are 5 glasses, 1/10th the size." The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat says: "Where's my damned bourbon?"