Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pittsburgh Valentines

Obviously, I didn't win the "Reception with the Mayor" for the Pittsburgh Valentine's contest. I can't image why. Here are some of my submissions:

Roses are read,
Winter is gray,
Cleveland sucks.
I though that one was a winner.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
5% amusement tax
$52 individual local services tax
1% employee wage tax
10.8 mill real estate tax (city)
13.92 mills real estate tax (school)
2% real estate transfer tax
45% parking tax
1% RAD tax
10% poured drink tax
I suppose that one had too much math.
Yinz are just super
Yinz are just great
But would yinz please tell me,
Why dem Bucco's are third rate?
Probably too controversial.
Pittsburgh. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
You're hazy, humid, and filled with sweaty fat guys with no shirts.
Doesn't scan, and the meter is off.
Stan, Guy, love the show.
Sorry. I had been drinking.

Maybe next year.


ADBFan said...

Congrats for being mentioned in the P-G's Sunday Opinion:
I thought your Pittsburgh Valentine was a winner.

O said...

Thank you. I think it says more about the company I keep (JP and Prof. Madison, both of which being exceptional pieces of the local electronic media).

Or it means that Rich Lord is hiding out in my bushes again.

P.S., I hate to divulge my secrets, but that post was written after a series of badly made Manhattans.