Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Unpolished Thoughts on the State of the Union

Here are my final, uninhibited thoughts on the State of the Union:



3) fear

4) These guys teaching the Iraqis how to fight corruption is like having the Italians teaching the Iraqis how to run a government.

5) Arlen looked... enthusiastic.

6) Troop levels will be decreased by commanders... not commanders-in-chief.

7) Yes, we have changed tactics in Iraq... if you call "quagmire" a tactic.

8) Two! Two Bin Ladens! Ha Hah Hah! [thunder and lightning]

9) Stand behind the American military by... you know... sending them into a quagmire.

10) Democracy leads to love, puppies, sunshine, and, if you are in Palestine, Hammas.

11) Dear Iran: Sleep with one eye open, friend.

12) Opposition to Isolationism is not Interventionism.

13) Regions overwhelmed by poverty, corruption, and despair are sources of terrorism, organized crime, human trafficking, and the drug trade...but enough about Washington DC.

14) NSA Surveillance keeps away tigers.

15) LIAR!

16) WAR! [Good God y'all!] What is it good for? [Jingoism?]


18) While the growth of the US economy is impressive... it lags behind China.

19) Deficit? Didn't we eliminate that in, like, 1999?

20) Um... Didn't they also pass the Line Item Veto? Wasn't it also struck down?

21) Glad to see that the AMA was able to free up a few speechwriters for tonight.

22) Bush asking for us to cut back on oil is either like Nixon going to China, or like Courtney Love telling us to cut back on the blow.

23) Clean coal? Great. Does this mean 24hrs of "lost miner" coverage on CNN now?

24) Whoa... he talks about math and science... aaaaaand cut to the Asian (Elaine L. Chao, secretary of Labor)

25) A life of personal responsibility is a life of fullfillment... a life of irresponsibility leads to the presidency.

26) Laura's doubled her Xanax prescription tonight.

27) You know, I know if shouldn't feel wrong that the Party of Lincoln invoke the memory of Dr. King... but it does.

So... those are the unadulterated, unfiltered, unpolished, unplugged thoughts.


Bonus: Tonight! One Night Only! Gov. Tim Kaine is Spock!

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