The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: More on the 9th Councilmatic District

The Rules of Bureaucracy

Rule #O: "The Rules of Bureaucracy are mutable, non-canonical, non-ordinal, and contradictory, except in the cases where they are not."
Rule #1: "Document everything you do; if you didn't write it down, it didn't happen."
Rule #2 [The Sixty Minutes Rule]: "Never do anything that would cause Ed Bradley, Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, Steve Croft, Leslie Stahl, or even Andy Rooney to persue you down a hallway with a camera crew."
Rule #3: "Nothing Simple is Ever Easy"
Rule #4: "It's about the money; follow the money."
Rule #5: "Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Rule #6: "Politics is the enemy of good government."
Rule #7: "The biggest detriment to public service is the public."
Rule #8: "The second biggest detriment to public service is the service."
Rule #9: "There's a reason; there's ALWAYS a reason."
Rule #10: "The Law is a harsh mistress: The rigorous and exacting application of which can benefit of society when used correctly to advance good policy and block bad, and be the bane of society when used incorrectly to advance bad policy and block good."
Rule #11: "Public service often involves waking up in the morning, opening up the newspaper, and discovering that someone, somewhere out there thinks that you're a dickhead."
Rule #12: "No one really knows what you do."
Rule #13 [Luke's Rule]: "No one ever acts like the bastard they really are."
Rule #14: "Bureaucracy endures."
Rule #15: "The longer you work in bureaucracy, the more Catch-22 resembles non-fiction."
Rule #16: "Politicians are not smarter than you."
Rule #18: "Money is not created equal."
Rule #19: "Mediocrity is normalcy."
Rule #17: "Within any bureaucratic structure, resources (e.g. people, money, knowledge, etc.) are not distributed uniformly."
Rule #20: "Don't assume a fiduciary liability without a committed resource allocation."
Rule #21: "If you do your job and obey the law, they can't reasonably fire you."
Rule #22: "The Budget will always be wrong."
Rule #23: "Always sign in blue."
Rule #24: "A Bureaucrat must be able to explain and justify his/her actions to laymen without resorting to the phrase 'because the Rules say so.'"
Rule #25: "Never voluntarily relinquish control of an original document."
Rule #26: "Sometimes you just have to say 'Screw the rules'"
Rule #27: "Change sucks."
Rule #28: "Sometimes the answer is 'No.'"
Rule #29: "It is very easy to make difficult decisions when no one has a clue what's going on."
Rule #30: "If you hang around long enough, eventually you will become an expert in something."
Rule #31: "Data, technology, and automatic processes can never completely supplant human interaction."
Rule #32: "Cover thine own ass."
Rule #33: "It's not real until it has its own acronym."
Rule #34:There is nothing more dangerous than an elected, resourceful idiot.
Rule #35: It will always take longer than expected.
Rule #36: Coming Soon...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

More on the 9th Councilmatic District

I'd like to say that I beat the Post-Gazette to the punch on the political infighting in the 9th Council District with this post in which I said:

Fifth, impeachment has me nervous for one reason: what devil we don't know would replace the devil we know? Going through my little rolodex of people in the 9th Councilmatic district, eliminating the people that are opportunists, political tools, ignoramuses, and down right idiots, I've come up with two people, and I think one of them is dead.

I'd like to say that I beat them, but I don't think I did. The scurrilous dealing of the Pittsburgh Political Community are about as easy to understand as a James Joyce Mad-Lib. The experience is akin to watching Godfather Part II stoned, drunk, and being pummelled in a burlap sack: you have no idea what's going on, but you think it has something to do with Italians.

Anyway, some things that the article doesn't make clear and that are important to note:

(1) Just because a number of people in the East End seem to have aligning interests and have taken complementary actions doesn't mean that these people are allies.

(2) While anecdote does not equal data, it is clear to me that most of the players involved are not in this fight for the good of the people of the Council District, but rather for person glory and gain.

Now, read the P-G article again with that in mind and you'll share my concerns that the whole East End may just go down the shitter in a power struggle unrivaled since the Days of Our Lives episode where in exchange for helping Jan win Shawn Brady, Jan agreed help Nicole in her plans against Victor. Eventually, Nicole's plan took a deadly turn when she decided to kill Victor. Nicole ordered Jan to do the deed and Jan, believing Nicole would help her get Shawn, obliged. Jan electrocuted Victor while he was taking a bath! However, neither Jan nor Nicole knew that Victor was actually alive and well on Captive Island, Tony's brainchild to imprison his enemies...

I seemed to have strayed from the point a bit, which is this: politics sucks.

The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

More on the 9th Councilmatic District

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