Thursday, September 20, 2007

My $.02 ($.019986 Canadian)

If you're hanging out with all the cool economists, you're obviously aware that the U.S. and Canadian dollars are flirting with parity. From Bloomberg:

Sept. 20 (Bloomberg) -- Canada's dollar traded equal to the U.S. currency for the first time in three decades, capping a five-year run on the back of booming demand for the nation's commodities.

The Canadian dollar rose as high as $1.0008, before retreating to 99.87 U.S. cents at 4:16 p.m. in New York. It has soared 62 percent from a record low of 61.76 U.S. cents in 2002. The U.S. dollar fell as low as 99.93 Canadian cents today. The Canadian currency last closed above $1 on Nov. 25, 1976, when Pierre Trudeau was Canada's prime minister.
Fester has been tracking this for some time... of course he also made fun of me back in May when I dumped Ontario Amalgamated Syrup in favor of Vermont Maple Products. Who's laughing now smart guy? Huh? Huh? As of today, I'm making a $.04 profit on ever unit they sell...

Er... $.03...


Anyway, the collection of Loonies and Toonies that I've managed to... er... collect over the years have proven to be a small boon in the last few weeks. Unfortunately, the tiny increase in value for the Canadian Dollar has been more than offset by the decreased the value of Canadian Dollar jokes. It's hard to make "Monopoly Money" jokes when the cash in your own purse can barely buy penny candy.

[Of course, the U.S. Mint ain't doing us any favors either. Add Uncle Moneybags and you could pay your rent on Oriental Avenue* (almost).]

Despite all the jokes, however, this is a serious problem for the North American economy. Both the U.S. and Canada have a vested interest in keeping Canadian products affordable to the U.S. and to keep the U.S. purchasing power in Canada high. People and companies who would otherwise buy Canadian products are now more likely to buy American. Both economies suffer, devolving into increased tensions and hostilities throughout the continent.

The end game is inevitable: a Canadian invasion of the U.S.

Now, it might now happen all at once. In the 1980s it was the Japanese who were buying up the U.S., then it was the Chinese. Now it's Canada's turn... and the sneaky bastards look exactly like us so we'll never suspect it.

Before you know it, hordes of Mounties with fist fulls of Loonies will be gallivanting over the border, buying up everything in site and we will be too weak to stop them because of our inferior medical system and our fat asses.

Then, we will be inundated with hockey and unnecessary "u's" stuck in our favourite words. When the "Canschluss" is finally complete, we will all be sent to internment camps and subjected to French, curling, and Molson Lager.

The horror, eh?

*$6... $30 with one house.

1 comment:

Mark Rauterkus said...

First off, fear not about a Canadian invasion. Dan Onorato is keen to their ways. This is why he killed off a flock of their spies caught in North Park in recent months.

Rest easy, our fearless leaders are whacking down the enemy without abandon.

Secondly, the smart money in Canada isn't keen on an invasion of the U-S-of-A when CUBA can be got first at even better rates. They are just waiting for hurricane season to pass and the Canadian winter to begin.

Again, fear not. The Canadians are trying to get NHL to Havanah. They already got em to Florida. But Onorato was on the ball -- err -- puck again. Just yesterday they inked the deal to keep the Pens in Pittsburgh until 2040. By then we'll have to worry about the Pens road trips to Costa Rica and Mexico.

Thank goodness for the slogan, Don't Mess with Texas, -- and Ron Paul, of course. He'll keep the Canadian forces in check from the south with the fence and border beef plus a tear down of the FED Reserve.