Monday, October 29, 2007

Special Guest Commentary from Sleazy Vacant Property Owner


The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat asked me to write a special commentary on today's announcement by the mayor that he is "cracking down" on nuisance properties.

Now, under the proposed legislation it seems that any property that is cited for drug, gun, drunkenness, noise, or building code violations three times in a single month will be declared "a disruptive property". After three disruptive property violations, I believe that the property is declared a "nuisance." After three "nuisance" violations, you receive a demerit. You don't want to know what happens after a demerit. (Hint: it begins with "c" and ends with "-itation.")

Frankly, and this is speaking strictly for me and not for any of the other thousands of other nuisance property owners, I don't really care what the mayor does. Sure, I own shitty properties but I'm in Boca Raton... or in Wilkinsburg... or I'm dead... and don't really have time to worry about the activities going on in my properties. And, if I was worried about what was going on in those properties, you would be damned sure that I would have done something about it already.

So, what, exactly is the City going to do about it? Take my property with all of its liens and judgments on it? They would be doing me a favor, I can tell you. And what will they be left with? Just another vacant property that they can't shift.

The City can go ahead and try to find me, but if they really think that they have the resources, let alone the staff time, to launch such an undertaking they're obviously crazier than a shit house rat. I mean, they can barely keep up with the building permits, what makes the mayor think that he's going to suddenly be able to enforce a whole bunch of new regulations?

Or is he just going to fire BBI's staff one by one until someone complies?

Well, until the City rustles up another 30-40 employees, we'll be doing eight balls with the hookers back at my place on Penn Avenue. Feel free to join us; they'll be guns, drunkenness, noise, and building code violations for all.


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