Monday, November 05, 2007

Internet Bloggers Announce Strike

San Jose, CA (AP) - Following last night's announcement that the Writers Guild of America will go on strike last night, the International Brotherhood of Internet Bloggers (iBIB) announced that it would also call for a major work stoppage amongst it's nearly one million members.

iBIB had been negotiating along side the Writer's Guild as marathon talks entered their eleventh hour in Los Angeles and New York. The Bloggers are demanding royalties for "all the really good plots, scripts, and ideas offered for free on the Internet" are concerned about the increased number of Chinese bloggers that provide content at one-eighth the price of a union blogger.

Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, founder of the blog DailyKos, and Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda, founder of Slashdot, called on all iBIB members to immediately stop work.

In a speech released on YouTube last night, CmdrTaco ordered union members to refrain "from writing, producing, or uploading anything of substance or entertaining value on the web. It is only through the loss of our 'value added content' will management come to understand the services we provide."

Reporters questioned Malda if any of this "value added content" had previously been released on the Internet and, if so, where it might be found.

Markos added that until the strike was resolved, the union was holding back several items including a story involving Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) and Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), a new seven question meme, and a video of a monkey and an adorably kitten.

Message boards across the Internet were immediately shut down, as virtual picketers in the popular MMORPGs "Second Life" and "World of Warcraft" assembled inside every major server. Thousands of unspayed, unneutered, and uncaptioned LOLCats were abandoned by their owners.

The National Alliance of Network Administrators (NANA), who had been negotiating across the table from iBIB, called the move "precipitous and irresponsible," however, they are secretly concerned that a prolonged strike would lead to an increase in the reading of books, magazines, and newspapers or even "going outside and interacting with real people."

No word yet on whether the United Porn Writers, Directors, Composers, and Amalgamated Skeeves will join in a sympathy strike; UPWDCAS makes up for nearly 85% of Internet content.

Reopened negotiations may begin as early Tuesday.

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