Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My friends...

For those of you that care, I drew the short straw in the last Presidential Debate Drinking game as I was responsible for the phrase "My Friends". I realized shortly after my 15th shot of Vladimir Vodka (product tagline: WARNING! May cause blindness) that there would be no followup blog posting to the debate.

With the third and, God help us all, final Presidential debate upcoming, I must say that the selection of questions and the format of debate has been a bit... well... stilted.

No, let's not say that. Let's say, downright boring.

Before the previous debate, Old Man McCain said that the gloves were off and he was prepared to take it to his opponent. During the course of the debate, however, he wandered around the stage as if he was searching for the Early Bird Special at Cracker Barrel. Unless Obama was made up of biscuits and gravy with your choice of sides, this did not seem to be a viable strategy.

It would be nice, therefore, to make the debates a bit more punchier. While incorporating something like a steel cage of death, some sort of flaming hoop, or allowing the candidates to come out in masks and capes would be preferable, I doubt that the elderly Senator McCain would be up for any of that.

Plus, having a black guy and anything "flaming" would turn off large segments of them there folk in Central Pennsylvania.

So, baring all that, the only option is to "spice up" the questions to be presented. For example:

* Sen. McCain, of your 8 houses, which one is your favorite.

*Sen. Obama, you say that you're not a communist, terrorist loving Muslim, but can you provide irrefutable proof that 23% of the country is wrong?

*Sen. McCain, so is your opponent a terrorist or what?

*Sen. Obama, would you agree with Sen. McCain that his wife is, in fact, a "trollup"?

*Sen. McCain, how many of the Founding Fathers did you know personally?

*Sen. Obama, do you think that a "liberal media conspiracy" is behind news reports that say that you're so awesome?

*Sen. McCain, in regards to Governor Palin: what the hell? Seriously, what the hell?

*Sen. Obama, is it true that you people are "gifted"?

*Sen. McCain, can you pinpoint for us the moment that you sold your soul? Did you at least get a good price for it?

*Sen. Obama, how do you respond to the following statement: "Marshmallows! I to be the first to apply and not to be underdone! Break not the community trust!"
Yeah, I'd TiVo that debate.

1 comment:

Thomas Daulton said...

Unless Obama was made up of biscuits and gravy with your choice of sides, this did not seem to be a viable strategy.

That's funny, that was the exact description of Obama which several Democrats have offered to me as a reason to vote for him.