True Scotsmen Removed from GOP Roles

(Newswire) Columbus Ohio - In a surprise move, the Ohio GOP has requested that thousands of Scottish-Americans have their registrations changed as they no longer represent the views of Republicans Party.

At a 10 AM press conference, Ohio GOP spokesman Antony Flew stated that the party became concerned with the matter after recently released opinion polls showed that Ohio Scottish-Americans favored Barack Obama over John McCain by a staggering 10 to 1 majority.

John McCain was sitting down with his copy of the the Columbus Dispatch and saw an article about how "GOP Hibernian-Americans are Flocking to Obama in Record Numbers." McCain was shocked and declared that "No Scotsman would do such a thing." And then, the very next day he sits down to read the same Columbus Dispatch again and this time finds an article about Angus MacDonald, a long time Republican donor, hosting an Obama fundraiser. Mr. McCain came to the conclusion that, "No true Scotsman would do such a thing" and promptly ordered an investigation into activities of "un-Scotsmanlike behavior in the Republican Party."

The Ohio GOP has requested that the identified Republican Scottish-Americans have their party registry changed from Republican to Independent. This change, it is expected, would cause mass confusion amongst Obama leaning Republican Scottish Americans in Ohio.

The move comes on the heels of several statements by Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin, Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, Radio personality Rush Limbaugh, and McCain spokeperson Nancy Pfotenhauer all of whom spoke at length over the weekend regarding the support True Americans for the Republican Party.

Some from the left have argued that such statements are both a logical fallacy and a divisive, reprehensible mischaracterizations while others from the right have argued that no True American would ever disagree with the Republican Party.

The Ohio GOP had issued arm bands to True Americans, to show members that they are not alone in an America hating America. The Party has also called for "False American" Americans to wear similar identifiable markers such as iPods, eye glasses, or other pieces of flair.

The US Scottish-American Society has roundly condemned the GOP purge request, which was subsequently condemned by the Republican Party as something no "True Scotsman" would do.