Thursday, October 30, 2008

McCain Campaign Announces Major Shakeup

(Reuters) Norfolk, VA - In a surprise move that supporters are calling "bold" and critics are calling "insane," Senator John McCain has announced, in the waning days of the campaign, that he is replacing his campaign manager with the ShamWow! spokesman.

Speaking in front of a crowd in Sandusky OH with his trademark head microphone and faux-hawk, "Vince" energized those assembled with his testimonial of John McCain.

"John McCain will clean up this economic spill fast. He holds 21 times his weight in water... ya following me camera guy? He'll last for years! He's machine washable and bleachable! He's great for drying pets."

An unnamed high ranking campaign official, speaking off the record, said that McCain was "troubled" by the Obama campaign's 30 minute T.V. infomercial, which garnered over 20 million viewers yesterday. The hiring of a new campaign manager reflects a need to reach out to average voters who are up late watching TV and are gullible.

Infomercial expert Billy Mays says that this move is a super powered epoxy that does it all.

"This new approach is great for home projects big and small. Fill surfaces holes and cracks, instantly seal leaks, repair China, tools and more. Molds to any shape, adheres to most surfaces. No messy mixing needed. Just apply and let dry. Can be painted, sanded or drilled."

John McCain is available for three easy installments of $19.95, but if you order today you get the Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin *FREE*.

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3 comments:

Three said...

This is simply genius. I'm still laughing.

Steve Muhlberger said...

Sham-WOW!

Sherry said...

golden