An Open Letter to Dan Onorato

Dear Mr. County Executive,

I know that you want to seem "young," "cool," "hip," "friggie-fresh," or any other word that you think that young people say. And I know that you want to seem like you care about what your constituents think. And I know that you want to seem up on the latest technology like "computers," "the Internet," or "Netscape Navigator." I get all that.

However, what were you thinking in scheduling a "Cyber Town Hall Meeting" at 8:30 in the friggin' morning? Are you really sure you know what you're doing here?

Now, I appreciate that you want to use technology to reach out to the huddled masses and I'm all for that, but the huddled masses are, by large, either at work or going to work at this time in the morning. Frankly, there are also a large segment of us who are at work, but not necessarily at our peak performance until our 2nd or 8th cup of coffee. So, something tells me that you're not really trying to reach the huddled masses.

So, who would be up at 8:30 AM? Well, the retired, that's for sure, unless they're queuing up for the Early Bird Dinner Special already. But, something tells me that the retired and elderly aren't jumping online at this time of day... or ever... when they could just come down to Grant Street and complain in the flesh about the kids on their lawn instead.

Who else would be up at 8:30 and online? Hardcore gamers, I suppose... maybe the unemployed... but unless you're willing to address the struggles of people trying to put manna on their families' tables, I doubt you'll find an audience.

Let's set aside, however, the wee problem that no one is really going to be watching at 8:30 AM, as I suppose the point is that citizens will be now able to download the video at a later date, perhaps remixing it with some Daft Punk or OK Go, and turn you into an Internet sensation, right up there with those dancing Hamsters or that one video of the guy nearly getting hit with a shoe. That might be interesting.

Still, the conceptual problem here is that, Mr. Onorato, what you're doing here is not really a "Town Hall." A Town Hall, in my estimation, involves some sort of interaction between you and the audience. What you have here is really you answering preselected hate mail on video. If you don't really want a hall full of people screaming obscenities at you, it would be easier to get yourself a blog.

Lord know it couldn't be any worse than some of the other inane content in the Burghosphere.

Sincerely,
"O"
The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat