Sarah Palin to Join Fox News

Laura Ingraham, Gretchen Carlson, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and the former Alaskan Governor expect to put heads together to form giant wind tunnel.

Senator Harry Reid Apologizes for Being a Spineless Milquetoast

Washington D.C. (Reuters) - Coming under fire from both the right and the left, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) apologized today for comments he made regarding everything he's ever said and done since becoming Majority Leader.

"My comments and actions were out of line. I have apologized to the President personally and will take steps to rectify my actions in the future."

The controversy broke over the weekend when the Senator made an offhanded multiple term as Majority Leader and, despite having an overwhelming majority in the chamber, has been unable to pass any major legislation. The Senator tried to mitigate his actions by saying that he "only had 60 Senators to work with".

Bloggers on the left reacted strongly, saying that members of the Republican party would not be allowed to get away with such an offense. Conservative talk radio hosts raise equal ire, calling on Senator Reid to step down immediately.

Larry O'Ladel, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institute says that such controversies are minor, despite all the "yelling and preening."

"See, you have both parties really who are guilty of this kind of mortal sin. On the left your have Harry Reid who couldn't find his own ass if you gave him a flashlight and a map; on the right you have Michael Steele who has already sunk his party to new lows, and has started to dig. So really, neither side can claim a moral superiority."

The White House released a terse statement accepting Sen. Reid's apology, adding that if the Majority leader was not going to use the Senate, the President would like "to borrow it for a while."

Another controversy surrounding the Senator Majority Leader regarding an out of context racially insensitive comment from 2008 were deemed to be not newsworthy.

A Bureaucrat's Aside Re: Bitter, Bitter Cold

When I was young, my grandmother showed me old pictures of the Ohio River frozen over, with people walking and skating over it. Granted, at that time, before the locks were installed, the river flowed a bit shallower so it makes sense that it would freeze.

River flows deeper today; still freezes if it's really cold though.

Really, really cold.

Like this week.

The Prevailing Wages of Sin...

And now it's Luke's turn on the Prevailing Wage see-saw:

Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl kicked off the second half of a bruising fight over new rules for development subsidies yesterday, proposing his own version of prevailing wage legislation that he vetoed on New Year's Eve...

The mayor's version would exclude infrastructure spending, investments by city authorities, and federal or state funds from the calculation, and would exclude any project in which the remaining city subsidy was less than 10 percent of the total project cost.

It would also exclude any projects that were actually built in Pittsburgh, if my sources in the Mayor's Office are to be believed. Critics of the bill are right to point out that there would probably be only a handful of projects that these new rules would be applicable to, which is either (a) the Mayor's point or (b) a cynical political ploy to pass a prevailing wage bill without really passing a prevailing wage bill.

Of course, these are not mutually exclusive.

But what got me was this provision:

It would only take effect if Allegheny County approved similar legislation.

Which sort of makes sense as the City's commercial market is porous and does not stop at Summer Hill, or Overbrook, or Fairywood, or Regent Square; so, it would be just as easy for a small municipality (where one does not have to deal with the same level of regulation) to siphon off development. This is the same argument that the opponents to the County smoking ban used.

There is an opportunity here for prevailing wage supporters: the cynical side of the coin says that the County would never pass a prevailing wage bill, so the whole damned thing is a moot point anyway. HOWEVER, there is a certain county executive who "has been working very hard to earn the support of organized labor," and expects "o have some announcements coming up. So, what better way to win the doorknocking prowess of the SEIU, than to help them win, not just a City ordnance, but an entire County?

But then, you still have to deal with the reality that grocery stores, for example, would be much more likely to start up in suburban greenfield areas (where they don't need assistance) than in urban brownfield sites (where the need for nutritional security is greatest).

And to answer your question with another question Chris: would Henry George consider prevailing wage a "tariff" on labor?

Sleeping Child Found on School Bus

Another local child was found yesterday, asleep on a school bus after the driver failed to check his bus at the end of his route.

The child, Luke Ravenstahl, had been sworn in as Mayor of Pittsburgh early that day and was, according to his Chief of Staff "plum tired" from a day of speeches, drinks, and back slapping.

"Well, the little guy had been working so hard," said Joanna Doven, Mayoral Spokesman, "I can imagine that there was nothing else he would have rather done than take a good nap."

Questions have arisen, however, about whose responsibility it was to watch over the Mayor. Public Safety Director Michael Huss refused to comment, except to say that "Every situation that happens regarding a mayor not getting off at his fundraiser is totally different and requires a complete investigation before you can act properly."

In December, A-1 Transit fired a driver after a Greenfield K-8 second-grader fell asleep on a school van and was found in a Lawrenceville garage. The driver didn't perform the required check of every seat before leaving the van, according to an A-1 Transit manager. An A-1 Transit worker performing a second check found the child. School officials planned to charge the driver with endangering the welfare of a child. In November, former Councilwoman Tonya Payne fell asleep at a public meeting and was not awoken until the cleaning crew found her several hours later.

The Mayor, however, was calm during the incident and asked for his binky and a juicebox, before falling asleep in his office.

An Open Letter to Winter

Dear Winter,

We need to talk. I know that you've had a lot of things going on with the solstice and global climate change and everything, so I know that you're really busy right now, but I'm afraid that this just isn't working out for me. I mean, I know that you're trying to do your best, but really your best isn't good enough for me. Sure, you have the cold down, and I appreciate being able to hide under my Snuggie™ with a warm cup of hot chocolate. I also appreciate that you aren't sleety and freezing rainy like the last winter I knew. That was no fun whatsoever. Still, I think that you can do better.

I remember a long time ago, there used to be snow... not the one, two inches that you've been working on, but feet and feet of snow. So much snow that the City was literally shut down because you couldn't get anywhere. I miss that and right now, what you've doing, although I appreciate the effort, just means that I have to clean the car off twice a day, or shovel the walk three times a day. It's not satisfying, and honestly, I don't think it's working out.

Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to snow, and I mean really snow. I want it to snow so much that I can ride a sled from home to work (and yes, that means that you'll have to freeze the river too), preferably with my own pack of Iditarod-ready Huskies. I believe that you can do it.

I don't want to have to go back to Summer for my precipitation needs.

-O
The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

Rendell Chooses "Mystery Box" in Lieu of Table Games

Harrisburg (Reuters)- Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell chose "The Mystery" box over signing legislation that would have allowed table games in Commonwealth licensed casinos.

He made his choice on bill 711 after being presented with the Box by Rep. Monty Hall, and at the encouragement of the Studio Audience.

Mr. Rendell did say he has some "misgivings" about the bill and was looking for another alternative to plugging the Commonwealth's revenue short falls.

"The bill is laden with pork and special projects and will only acerbate lingering social issues that casinos cause, while returning nothing of substance to communities in the long run. And, I mean it's a 'mystery box'. Who doesn't love a good mystery?"

Senate Republicans were not impressed by the Governor's Choice. State Senator Lisa Baker, who was dressed as a duck for the occasion, said that Rendell should have held out for the next round.

"He could have had his choice between Door Number 1, Door Number 2, or Door Number 3, but instead he went straight for the box. Anything could have been behind those doors: cars, dunebuggies, catamarans... you can't fit those kinds of things into a box, no matter how 'mysterious' it may be."

Bill 711 was designed to help with a revenue shortfall in the previously approved state budget. The mystery box may or may not be able assist in those matters.

The Governor said he was comfortable with his choice, but was alarmed by the sudden presence of Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.

Contents of the "mystery box" will be revealed tomorrow.

Box of Rocks Elected City Council President

A bitterly divided Pittsburgh City Council reached a surprise decision in the race for its new president today, picking A Box of Rocks in a 5-4 vote.

The struggle for Council Presidency had coalesced around Councilmen Rev. Ricky Burgess and Bill Peduto, but when neither of them could muster the necessary 5 votes, both camps scrambled over the weekend to find a compromise candidate.

Council broke into two camps: one supporting A Bag of Hammers and the other supporting A Sharp Marble. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl's office lobbied extensively for A Bag of Hair, in an effort to thwart opponents on council.

In early morning conferences, however, A Box of Rocks was identified as a potential compromise candidate and quickly garnered the necessary 5 votes to win.

Before election to council, A Box of Rocks was previously in charge of the City's "Lights on While No One's Home" Program, and more recently headed the "Elevator Short of Top Floor" and "Extracting Water in Boots with Instructions Written on Heel" Commissions. Representatives from the Sharp Knives in Drawers Organization, a City Government watchdog group, says that "A Box of Rocks provides the intellectual leadership that Council deserves."

Prevailing Winds

Honestly, it says something about City Council that they were caught off guard and sniped by the Mayor's Office at the last minute:

A proposed new development rule that had seemed well on its way into the city of Pittsburgh's code book was surprisingly derailed yesterday by a mayoral veto.

Some City Council members made a last-minute effort last night to override the veto, but the attempt fell one vote short of the six votes needed for an override...

Mr. Ravenstahl had said long before the vote that he did not "anticipate being a strong advocate against it." But at 3:54 p.m., his office sent over a veto message saying that the piece "has too many vague and ambiguous terms, needs additional input from the entire community, and, most importantly, has the potential to hurt Pittsburgh."

Because the veto came about eight hours before the end of the two-year council session, there was no way, under the city code, for the body to meet to vote to override. Special meetings can be called only with 24 hours notice.

Not having heard that the legislation had been signed as of yesterday when Jim Motznik resigned, I assumed that Luke was getting pressure from forces both inside and outside City government and was going to pull out the veto pen. Frankly, I was surprised that the Mayor sent over the veto message as early as 3:54 p.m. I can only assume that City Clerk Linda Johnson-Wasler was going home at 4, otherwise I would have expected the Mayor to wait until after Council was already (let's say) "filled with holiday cheer" at around 8 PM and completely unable to call any type of sensible meeting.

Although, I must say that the progress of this bill itself has been unusual all around: a major piece of legislation introduced after November elections with two lame-duck members, Council reluctantly giving it a public hearing, a domineering Council President railroading the bill through, infighting between council supporters of the bill, a reluctance by Council Members to hear possible side effects of the legislation, and a local union twisting thumb screws behind closed doors. Folks can call what the Mayor did "a blatant abuse of power," but something about how this bill came about does not sit easy in my stomach.

(That may be last night's mixture of pork, sauerkraut and champagne, however, which has been known to cause similar gastrointestinal... uh... issues.)

Now, personally, I don't think that this legislation is particularly well thought out to begin with and I don't believe that our elected officials have any clue as to what the bill will actually do to the City. Council is not known for thinking deeply about unintended consequences (or being intellectually curious at all for that matter), but I would recommend to them that they take this opportunity to have a real, in-depth analysis of what the consequences of this bill might be and then bring it back to the table. There may be ways that the City can effect the same desired outcomes which have not been considered by Council.

I mean, they don't want to be caught off guard again, right?

3...2...1...

Happy New Year!