Senator Harry Reid Apologizes for Being a Spineless Milquetoast

Washington D.C. (Reuters) - Coming under fire from both the right and the left, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) apologized today for comments he made regarding everything he's ever said and done since becoming Majority Leader.

"My comments and actions were out of line. I have apologized to the President personally and will take steps to rectify my actions in the future."

The controversy broke over the weekend when the Senator made an offhanded multiple term as Majority Leader and, despite having an overwhelming majority in the chamber, has been unable to pass any major legislation. The Senator tried to mitigate his actions by saying that he "only had 60 Senators to work with".

Bloggers on the left reacted strongly, saying that members of the Republican party would not be allowed to get away with such an offense. Conservative talk radio hosts raise equal ire, calling on Senator Reid to step down immediately.

Larry O'Ladel, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institute says that such controversies are minor, despite all the "yelling and preening."

"See, you have both parties really who are guilty of this kind of mortal sin. On the left your have Harry Reid who couldn't find his own ass if you gave him a flashlight and a map; on the right you have Michael Steele who has already sunk his party to new lows, and has started to dig. So really, neither side can claim a moral superiority."

The White House released a terse statement accepting Sen. Reid's apology, adding that if the Majority leader was not going to use the Senate, the President would like "to borrow it for a while."

Another controversy surrounding the Senator Majority Leader regarding an out of context racially insensitive comment from 2008 were deemed to be not newsworthy.