An Open Letter to Winter

Dear Winter,

We need to talk. I know that you've had a lot of things going on with the solstice and global climate change and everything, so I know that you're really busy right now, but I'm afraid that this just isn't working out for me. I mean, I know that you're trying to do your best, but really your best isn't good enough for me. Sure, you have the cold down, and I appreciate being able to hide under my Snuggie™ with a warm cup of hot chocolate. I also appreciate that you aren't sleety and freezing rainy like the last winter I knew. That was no fun whatsoever. Still, I think that you can do better.

I remember a long time ago, there used to be snow... not the one, two inches that you've been working on, but feet and feet of snow. So much snow that the City was literally shut down because you couldn't get anywhere. I miss that and right now, what you've doing, although I appreciate the effort, just means that I have to clean the car off twice a day, or shovel the walk three times a day. It's not satisfying, and honestly, I don't think it's working out.

Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to snow, and I mean really snow. I want it to snow so much that I can ride a sled from home to work (and yes, that means that you'll have to freeze the river too), preferably with my own pack of Iditarod-ready Huskies. I believe that you can do it.

I don't want to have to go back to Summer for my precipitation needs.

-O
The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat