Friday, January 14, 2005

The Cause of (and Solution to) this Blog

So originally when this blog was pitched to me on Monday, the idea was that I was supposed to be drunk every time I wrote in it. I thought this was funny, but there are several problems with this concept:

(1) As I drink more, I become much more incoherent and lose my ability to type. And while this holds tremendous comedic potential, it also means that I may slip and reveal some dark sordid secret like my fantasy involving Lindsay Lohan, a bottle of butterscotch syrup, and...

WHOA! Almost had me there. I can't give away too much, not now.

Moving on.

(2) I may post at work if the fancy strikes me.... and they will fire my ass if I'm drunk... even for a noble cause such as this.

(3) I may post in the morning. Drinking before noon is sad.

(4) If I'm prolific, people are going to think I'm drunk all the time. And then someone is going to call an intervention. And then I'll spend weeks in rehab. And then I won't be able to post. QED

So Drunk AND Angry... either one or both. If you have a problem with drinking, assume that I just have a chip on my shoulder... If you have a problem with anger, assume that I'm ripped.

If you have a problem with both... well, you probably didn't make it this far in the post.

The post was brought to you by: VODKA MARTINI.

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