Bobby O getting the 4-1-1 from His Shorties on the West Sidee

Our first big mistake was believing that the children were our future.

I mean, look at 'em: bunch of ritalin addled, short attention span, over worked, over parented, internet & video game junkies. So, it makes me sad when The Overlord of Pittsburgh stoops to their level to ask their "advice."

"Open up a couple of the rec centers," said Davon Magwood, a Schenley High senior and the state's elected Youth Governor, "so more kids have more things to do in the summer."

"It sounds good, but a lot of times people don't use them," the mayor said of the centers, many of which were shuttered in 2003 due to the city's budget crisis.

Boo yah! Adults: 1; Children: Zeee-ROH!

I mean, children aren't like they were back in my day. Back then playground slides were twenty feet off the ground over solid concrete. We lived with the very real and very palpable fear of massive brain trauma should we slip, and we LIKED IT!

We were a generation that actually new what good music was, and that it came on vinyl.

We knew what WIN meant and why Gerald Ford was so gosh darn funny for wearing those little buttons.

Back then Cookie Monster was a representation of pure nihilistic id and that "C" was, in fact, good enough for me.

This was a generation that believed that a little dot bouncing around a screen was real video game entertainment.

This was a generation where MTV actually showed friggin' music videos.

[Deep breath]

Anyway: the Youth Commission better stay the hell off my damned lawn, or I'll take their "frisbee".