Monday, August 07, 2006

News from Grant Street

Deputy Mayor Yarone Zober (age 31) and City Council President Luke Ravenstahl (age 25) have reached agreement on a new City Solicitor, the seven month old foetus of City Law department clerk Jan Morrison, the soon-to-be born Zack or Stephanie Morrison. Mr. or Ms. Morrison will replace Susan Mallie (age 40) who was removed as part of a shakeup that also saw the departure of Mayoral Chief of Staff B.J. Leber (age 63) and Finance Director Paul Leger (age 82). The foetus was chosen over several other members of the City Law Department due to its personal loyalty to O'Connor (age 99), although political pundits are pointing to a $1,000 donation made in the final days of the November campaign.

Announcing the agreement, 138 year old Mayoral Spokesman Dick Skrinjar told reporters to get off his damned lawn or they'll never get their Frisbee back. Mr. Skrinjar then removed to his office to watch reruns of Matlock (age 12,073).

This announcement comes on the heels of the appointment of Bill Peduto (age unknown) protege Jonathan Soisson's (age 7) as Finance Director. Mr. Soisson has pledged to work with the Act 47 Board as well as the ICA, complete fiscal discipline, and to share the big red firetruck in the toybin.

Grant Street insiders predict the role of Chief of Staff to go to the Glint-in-William Lieberman's Milkman's Eye (age TBA). The anouncement is expected following nap-time tomorrow.

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