Thursday, March 01, 2007

Steelers Release Joey Porter, the Hounds

Pittsburgh (AP) - Confronted by an angry mob of drunken football fans at Gate A of Heinz Field, the Steelers released Joey Porter and the Hounds on the unsuspecting rabble. Four people were mauled, three were taken to Allegheny General hospital with severe Porter bites.

Witnesses reported seeing new Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin cackling in a fit of cartoonish, super-villainous laughter and shouting "FOOLS! I'LL CRUSH YOU ALL!"

As a precaution, Joey Porter had to be put to sleep pending the result of rabies testing.

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