Friday, April 13, 2007

Bill Buckner Named War 'Czar'

Washington (AP) - Former Boston Red Sox First Baseman Bill Buckner has been tapped by the President to act as the new War 'Czar' to coordinate military activities in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Buckner, who achieved notoriety in the 1986 World Series for committing an error that would later allow the NY Mets to go on and win the championship, will report directly to the President.

A White House spokesman speaking on behalf of Tony Snow announced the appointment around noon today.

"The President was looking for someone who can shoulder great responsibility in the face of equally great criticism.

When asked why he accepted a job that was turned down by several high ranking military personnel due to the perception that the position was merely a "scapegoat", Buckner was reflective.

"Since '86, I was continually blamed for losing the [World] Series, spit on by fans, mocked, jeered, and burned in effigy. Even when the team owners couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag, spend money wisely, or hire competant players, I got the blame. Year after year, I got the blame... until '04.

"Once they actually won the championship, I was plum out of a job and I realized I kind of missed being blamed for the horrible mistakes of others. This is old hat to me.

Mr. Buckner will start his new post next week, but has already been subpoenaed by the House and Senate, where he will be asked to explain why he's mismanaged the war since 2002.


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