Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Random Outburts

It's a sandwich, not a life altering event! Toasted or not-toasted? Now move!

You realize, of course, that this is your job, right? This is what they pay you to do.

Lady, the sign says "Do Not Enter" you can't make a right turn! Now, I don't care, but that rapidly approaching bus might.

You're high on glue aren't you? That's the only explanation for your stupidity, short of massive brain trauma.

Why did you think that was my job? Do you even have the remotest concept of what I do, or were you mashing buttons on your phone at random?

How hard did you have to work to rise to this level of incompetance?

You suck!

Your lips are saying "I can help," but your eyes are saying, "I need to be beaten senseless."

You! Make a decision! Shit or get off the pot!

Ah! I didn't realize that it was my day to deal with the circus freaks.

In this country, it's called a "side walk", not a "side stand" or a "side block-other-people."

You are a pompous waste of air in a poorly tailored suit!

Only three words can describe what you just did: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Why couldn't your parents have "just been friends" instead?

I... no, it would take too long to explain what is wrong with you.

Yes, I look like I care, but you look like a person who doesn't know when they're wrong.

I'm going to have to stop you there: my doctor tells me I'm only supposed to get 30 milligrams of stupid per day.

Get out of my way, already!

No, no, no that's not the floor you're looking for.

Explain to me again why it's my job to bail you out of your problems?

Who are you and how did you get my number?

You... you... ah, hell! Just fuck off already!


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