Pennsylvania - America Starts Here (2008 Edition)

We're only less than a week into the 2008 Democratic Campaign for Pennsylvania and I already want to stick an ice pick up through my nostrils so that I might bring on the sweet, sweet relief of death. Although, with my luck I'll end up in front of the Pearly (or Infernal) gates with St. Peter (or Satan) wearing a Ron Paul sticker (or a Ron Paul sticker).

I have completely lost all tolerance for national political campaigning. I don't watch a whole lot of TV (well, US TV that is), so I haven't seen a lot of ads, and I know that the candidates haven't been in town yet, so I haven't seen any of them in person yet, but there's just really something that is completely off-putting about this campaign season.

Take a look at the rancor on the local political blog seen if you want a hint of what I'm talking about.

Here's the thing: I think, in the grand scheme of things, Pennsylvania is just going to be a drop in the bucket in the delegate hunt.

The way the NY Times is seeing it, both candidates still need over 500 delegates to win. Now, there are 566 delegates left to claim (excepting, of course, those bastards in Michigan and Florida), which means that if each candidate got, say, 50% of those delegates, no one would be able to claim the nomination in the first round.

This may make for exciting convention politics (and it does), but the agressive campaigning leaves the Party worse for wear.

This is a classic Prisoner's Dilemma for Obama and Clinton: if both attack each other, the GOP gets more ammo for November and both lose (0,0); if Obama attacks Hillary, Obama wins (10,0); if Hillary attacks Obama, Hillary wins (0,10); if neither attacks each other, the result is, at best, uncertain, but the party remains strong (5,5). Both candidates not pressing an advantage results in a second best outcome for both candidates, but a far better outcome than if they tried to.

So, I propose a moratorium on intra-party attacks while both candidates are in the Commonwealth. This is not to say that neither candidate is not allowed to attack another candidate, but rather that both candidates should be attacking their presumptive rival: John McCain.

John McCain right now is lurking like that slow, fat kid in dodgeball: back, way behind the line, cowering in a corner, waiting for one of the final two players to off the other so that he can sneak up an hit the winner with a sucker shot.

I assume that most Democrats in PA are like me: they have their preferred candidate, but if their preferred candidate does not win, we will all go to the polls and pull the Democratic lever in the booth.

(Hmmm... I suppose that description is out of date. How about: "Go behind the partial partitioned booth/screen and hit the Democratic electronic button.")

If nothing else, a gentleman's (gentleperson's?) agreement between the candidates will save the paramedics from having to try to pry an ice pick from my skull on or before April 21.