Therrien Blames Lack of Banners for Penguins Losses

Penguins head coach Michel Therrien unleashed an expletive filled tirade towards the Mayor of Pittsburgh and City Council blaming them both for the team's back-to-back losses to the Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup finals.  

"Where are the fucking banners already?  How do they expect us to win without over-sized giant fucking banners?" 

Mr. Therrien launched the invective shortly before the team's pre-game warm-up practice at Mellon Arena in front of members of the local media.  

"If those motherfuckers down on Grant Street don't get their fucking merde together, this fucking team is going to lose in four games."

Council members and the Mayor's Office have been at odds following a moratorium on outdoor advertising in the wake of the Grant Street Transportation/Lamar Advertising fiasco. 

Representatives of the Mayor's Office blame Council President Doug Shields for the current situation, calling his ongoing work "obstructionist."  Mr. Shields has blamed the Mayor's Office for jinxing the Pens. 

"I mean, seriously, do you really think that these loses are because the team can't defend the blue line, or capitalize on Power Play opportunities?" said Mr. Shields in an email. "No, it's because the Mayor won't let them put up their fucking banners."  Councilwoman Tonya Payne, who represents the 6th Council District, was not available for comment. 

Therrien remains frustrated. 

"These playoffs aren't about who scores the most points or which team comes out on top, it's about the ability of a city to put up giant banners advertising their local teams.  If we can't do that, the Red Wings have already won."